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1711011/20140918a) Concord crashes close to home. September 18, 2014

Posted by pete1844 in Diary.
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00:58 BST (British Summer Time),
‘Idal, 10th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Justice, Might of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Arba’aa’, 23rd Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
Fourth Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Wednesday, 17th September 2014 AD

 

07:19. Last night I dreamt of a Concorde airliner crashing with a belly-flop near me in a built up area, following by a tsunami coming from the left (or west?) through a line of houses near a seafront, making cycling along impossible. There were other details I forget. Dreams are often like that. Weight 103.5, edging down even though by a tenth of a kilo at a time. So far this morning 2 hits on this blog from the USA. Mood, fairly upbeat. The crashing of concord and a tsunami FELT like a set-back during the dream, but after waking, the mood is not negative, more neutral, with a resolution to keep going. Seems as if I’m taking it at a day at a time. Planning further ahead in my mind seems too ambitious. Planning ahead further than a day at a time is for my DPS1s, Daily Planning Sheet, which plans for a week, but which is written up to 24th June 2016. DPS2 is for reading the Writings, DPS3 is for appetite, food and drink, vitamins and medicine. Thought of today’s title, and the possible meaning that peace crashes (comes to stay overnight to sleep) near me. (In Woodstock perhaps). Or maybe, (this must be wishful thinking) somewhere else along my street. A tsunami of water (emotion) coming from the left, as I leave home on my bike going through the estate of Lyne Mead on my bike, with a row of houses on my left between me in Wilsdon Way, and the main road (Banbury Road), then I am going south, with the tsunami coming from the east. A tsunami of emotion (love?) from the east? That would be nice! Reminds me of Margaret Appa at the PRC in Haifa advise me on my last morning at Haifa Tower before flying back to Larnaca and Heathrow, to interpret a dream of “PIGS MIGHT FLY” in whatever way makes me happy. So there you are, a happy interpretation of a dream that ostensibly looks on the surface like a “bit of a car crash”. I think my pillow is calling!

09:39. After more sleep, I remember dreaming of Oxpens College advertising for students, and thinking, this has come up before in these dreams, I’m being prompted to study something. So, now awake, I will look in their prospectus to see if anything catches my eye.

13:38. Time to go for a Thursday swim, though late; the session starts at 12:00. I won’t be there until at least 14:10. The session closes at 16:00. Still, it did enable to take delivery of 150 suspension files from Viking Office Services. The melancholy from yesterday has lifted, and I’m forging ahead at top speed again. Must continue to monitor my speed though. No tickets for speeding thank you. Maintaining this optimism in an ambiguous situation is difficult, but perhaps I’m learning to adopt that positive attitude anyway, whether or not there are brilliantly ecstatic times ahead, or just more disappointment, despair and having to rely on God for everything and be socially in a world of my own, where only Baha’u’llah and “writing” keeps me company. Only 4 hits today, 3 USA 1 Egypt, but the night is yet young.

18:23. I was thinking that my life is not my own in certain circumstances. It wasn’t my life from 1955 to 1967 when Dad allowed me my life only when I was watching TV. It wasn’t my life from 1967 to 1974 at Adams’ Grammar School when I was subjected to failed methods for brainwashing me with odious middle class immoral propaganda. It wasn’t my life from 1976 to 2006 when I was forced to accept bogus medical science which wasted the prime of my life. It wasn’t my life from 1978 to 2007 when I found myself in a dead-end job being a government functionary operating an instrument of class warfare against the poor, with little scope for real initiative or creativity. Now, in 2006 a lot began to change. I found that there were covert efforts to improve my life and enable me to escape from the cage that circumstances and a woeful contempt for the Baha’i Faith by certain elements in the establishment. I found that aloe vera from FLP helped. I found that orthomolecular medicine helped. If I had been financially sound, and emotionally able to live somewhere other than Oxford, I found that I was able to set up a university career in less than 4 weeks; I was obviously getting help covertly from the same source. I found that a fireside, intimately involved with those who seemed to be teaming up to help me, seemed to help me by giving a revolutionary new take on mental illness being as a result of spiritual developments that only St John of the Cross understood. And I fell in love with the source of all this help, as she appeared to be in my eyes. She gave me my life by enabling me to escape from factors that had enslaved me. But she was intent on “the training of adults” NOT finding me as a marriage partner. So, fine, I have my life, and not anyone to share it with, just being a Baha’i, and writing here, That’s it! No dependence on anyone else, no involvement with anyone else, no relationships with other human beings, just lots of acquaintanceships which come and go and mean little. Lets change the subject and look at the stats. USA 5 Egypt 1, Malta? Nil points! Perhaps they didn’t like being spotted looking at my blog! Unless, its still, a case of “the night is yet young”.

20:40.

4/9/14. 75 lengths in 92 minutes. 1 length = 1 minute 38 seconds.

11/9/14. 13:30 to 14:32. 55 lengths in 62 minutes. 1 length = 1minute 21 seconds.

16/9/14. 13:19 to 14:47. 75 lengths in 88 minutes. 1 length = 1 minute 29 seconds.

18/9/14. 15:02 to 16:00 at close of session, 54 lengths in 58 minutes. 1 length = 1 minute 12 seconds.

20:52. What have I done wrong, I asked the Persian surgeon. Everything you’ve said, was the withering, disapproving answer. I wonder what evidence to justify character assassination will be found on this blog for enemies to attack me with? Now, its 21:00 and time for Simon Schama on the 20th century with Winston Churchill and Winston Smith.

1711010/20140917a) The. Bridge The Gap. September 17, 2014

Posted by pete1844 in Diary.
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00:58 BST (British Summer Time),
‘Idal, 10th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Justice, Might of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Arba’aa’, 23rd Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
Fourth Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Wednesday, 17th September 2014 AD

00:59. I don’t feel tired, despite my exertions and lack of sleep. So maybe a good dose of “A History of Japan” by R H P Mason and J G Caiger from 1973 revised in 1997 will hopefully make my eyelids heavy. Page 112 to zzzzzz.

05:25. Bridge The Gap. I woke up bright and bushy-tailed after only 5 hours sleep, perceiving a hum and a host of other almost inaudible sounds. I wonder if a policeman using “the facilities” when No eighty-something experienced a “Domestic Hot Strike” (DHS), which was in the local media, switched something on while he was here. I switched off a heater, and the sounds seemed muted again. Still, I AM wide awake, too early. Though 5 hours is much better than nothing. I have information about CRMs, though I’m not TOTALLY convinced it is kosher, with echoes of “Which Oxford Feast did you go to”, and that sneaking suspicion that meetings are being duplicated for my benefit, in order to exclude me from peoples’ private lives. The accusation that I am “ill” still rankles. The impulse to over-interpret is still there, though more carefully monitored than before, attempting to “reality-check”, to rein in the worst of the fuzzy logic.

09:16. How’s this for rational logic? If she didn’t choose me, then presumably she’s chosen someone else, so no longer on the market. Case closed. Simples. Anyone out there fancy their chances with me? If there is, I wish you all the luck in the world, I really do, because you have an amazing act to better, and my rational logic says that the probability of that happening is pretty insignificant.

09:37. Intuition? no idea. Anything might be possible. Though my subconscious seems happy enough, perhaps due to interpreting “she did not choose you” according to NLP rules, as she did choose you. But my conscious mind’s attitude to that is a David Icke, “Yeah, right!” full of skepticism, though with Baha’u’llah in charge with the whole world in his hands, you never know what rabbit, hare or pica or any other species of lagomorph might jump out of the proverbial hat. Always be open to miracles!

12:42. Just got a sort of PSTD flashback of childhood despair, of being shut out, excluded, isolated, etc. And then used an act of will to crush that impression, and resolve to carry on, calm and unruffled. No doubt that impression of despair will return, but each time it does, learn to show it the door and demonstrate that it is no longer welcome here. Especially when apparently auto-suggested by people who like to inflict pain on me. Show them the door and freeze them out as well.

22:19. From “Woman in Love” by Barbara Streisand, “when the dream is gone, its a lonelier place”. With no one to talk to, and she having apparently chosen someone else, that dull, sullen melancholy is gradually edging in again. And there is no cure, except perhaps, in the advice of Mr Hofman, in writing, as if there is some mystic blog reader out there, who is anonymously and silently keeping me company. But since no one in the real world, that hostile alternative to cyberspace, wants to ring me, text me or e-mail me, or visit me, who has the slightest prospect of healing my heart, life is empty and meaningless, and I wish it would stop. But this is self-pity, and I should at least try to lift my mood to something happier, but I have no motivation to do so. I do not want to be with or want to talk with, anyone else, and she has chosen someone else to share her life with. Its a no win situation. No way out. No escape. No cure, just “scribbling” pathetic words of woe here, how pathetic, how contemptible, how worthless. All the hope people were encouraging me to feel seems to have been invested in No 5, not No 6, but she married Paul, and I then ceased to be interested, and there is no revival in that interest possible, but my encouraging friends didn’t realise that, and so hoped that me and No 5 could hit it off again. They don’t know me very well. Once I decide to give up, there’s no prospect of me being interested again. I knew that, but they didn’t. Their hopes for me and No 5 were doomed, ever since 2004. And now No 6 has chosen someone else, my life is still to all intents and purposes over. God has defeated me, and there’s no come back anymore, and no motivation to come back. Just scribbling in the Net, watching stale, lame television, and watching the world descend into fascist tyranny, war, destruction and death. No planet for an old man on his own.

22:38. Yesterday 9, today 6. Visits to my blog from which country? The US, Canada, UK, Venezuela? No, Malta! The Doctor is rumbled, or is it Kirk from Iowa? Someone knows more about my blog than they are disengenuously admitting. What’s new? But I expect there is a chain of information. Me writing on blog. The Doctor reading the blog in consultation with his companion explaining the sub-texts, relaying information to his elder brother, whose FB page is in pole position No 1 of 9 on both my FB page and hers, except that on hers, the retired Doctor who is no longer on the NSA is temporarily in pole position. People not talking about me behind my back? Yeah right! as David Icke would say. These people have such weird “training methods”.

22:50. Today, Malta, 8. Two more hits from Malta since I noticed 6 earlier, as above. Perhaps the assumption that because she did not choose me, she has definitely chosen someone else, is presumptuous and premature. Perhaps she did not choose me then, but now……? Is it any wonder I’m losing sleep in this situation, with all this shnanigins going on? The suspense is killing me!

23:11. “Nasty Virus Going Round” got more than one hit, so I started reading it. Substantially hypo-manic. I’m amazed I didn’t get a speeding ticket! Still, when the heat of search becomes so intense, what alternative is there? For the last few days, the energy which has needed to be burnt off has been quite substantial. How can I sleep, when I FEEL this sexual tension, this dynamic powerful intense desire and frustration? It just generates brazilians of energy. Sleep just doesn’t seem feasible. I slept for an hour or two earlier today, and was dressed smartly amidst smartly dressed Baha’is in a Baha’i gathering, and felt devastated when SV and PK both hurled condescension and leg pulling humour at me. As I was waking up, I felt gutted, but quickly suppressed that impression and got on with stuff. But a trace of melancholy persisted, as described above. Sometimes I feel cut off from her, and from my feelings about her, and sometimes I feel communications in my heart with her soul, like telepathy, and a yearning to be with me, as I with her, and respond by lying down with my pillow. But very often I don’t get that feeling that she feels positively towards me, and so there seem to be times when she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, and needs her own space, cut off from me, which is fine. Sometimes, I’m engrossed in topics apart from her, and am happy to be involved in those topics instead of her. I suppose the joy is when we both feel the need for each other at the same time, ASSUMING, that this soul-communication is real, and NOT just my romantic imagination. No empirical evidence, no proof, no action. Except writing for Malta, and Southam, and wherever she is. Dublin? Celebrating Mark O’Rowe’s achievements? Or marrying him? As The Doctor said, “Everything is possible”.

23:25. And its Malta yestreday 9, today 9, so another hit in Malta in the last few minutes. Talk about “I need an audience”!

1711009/20140916a) To Hell and Back. September 16, 2014

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02:04 BST (British Summer Time),
Fidal, 9th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Grace, Names of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Ath-Thalaathaa’, 22nd Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
Third Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Tuesday, 16th September 2014 AD

 

 

21:28, 15th September. Tonight’s episode of “Inspector George Gently” says everything about how utterly rotten and corrupt the western elite is, and why David Icke books are contraband in America’s prisons. Basil Cuthbert Baldwin accused me of starting a revolution. too right! Of course, when “the natives are getting restive”, its often time for the western elite to start a world war, to avoid losing their tyrannical stranglehold on the human race.

02:07. 16th September. Trying to sleep, with a thumping heart, feeling that all reality, the visible and invisible worlds of Creation, are essentially hostile to me, and, until the western elite begins WW3 and switches off the Net, only minor aspects of the virtual world of cyberspace are still tolerating my existence and putting up a temporary facade of support, encouragement and acceptance; these friendships will terminate soon enough, there is little motivation for keeping up appearances, for carrying on the fight, since there is nothing left to fight for, no hope in the future on Earth, not for me at any rate, no prospect of anything in the next world, no faith or trust in God that seems to try me like Job, except that I don’t have Job’s faith, and no confidence that there is any force in existence that will willingly allow me the luxury of love for anyone or anything, except that “jealous God” who seems to want to be “loved alone and above all that is”, and because of this exclusivity, earns my contempt and hatred for trashing any love I might entertain for another human being. All these factors are leading me inexorably to hell, in circumstances, where I have no remorse, regret or repentance. I am guilty of “standing with a fist” before God, defiant, grimly standing firm before and against His decree, and on a point of principle, choosing hell rather than a heaven which I can only enter if I compromise what seems like my own honesty, integrity and truthfulness. I would rather commit blasphemy than stand before Him as a liar, since to me, lying is the most abominable curse.

03:25. Who else has read “Love and Estrangement in the Baha’i Community” by Arnold P Nerenberg, published by Kalimat, my copy of which bought on 28th January 1987? And what did you think of it? I found it quite eloquent and enlightening.

03:55. Still, haven’t had a wink of sleep all night. Stress, anxiety, “total war attitude”, being in total conflict with God, it can’t be any good for one’s health, either physical or mental, emotional or spiritual. Its all a question or being tested and found wanting. I don’t see any prospect of progress, or redemption, not without any faith, hope or love, and instead just a sullen refusal to have anything to do with God, or anything connected to Him.

04:19. “Obama Declares Perpetual War,” by Marjorie Cohn http://www.truth-out.org/news/item/26187-obama-declares-perpetual-war

Its time someone declared perpetual death for the western elite. Maybe to out an end to this “greatest curse to have afflicted and degraded the human race from time immemorial” will be the greatest service anyone has or will ever do to help the human race. The question is what runs the world, American business interests, or the principles of International Law. If International Law and American business interests are incompatible, then American business interests have to go. Instead of bombing infrastructure in countries that are not co-operative to American business interests, Chile, Indonesia, East Timor, Vietnam, Cambodia, Libya, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Yemen, Somalia, Yugoslavia, Nicaragua, etc etc, then maybe targeted bombing of corporations should be considered, the oil companies like Exxon, arms manufacturers like Raytheon, big pharma like Pfizer, processed food corporations like Monsanto, and any other branches of “free market capitalism” that have been afflicting and degrading the human race for decades. Blackwater and Halliburton come to mind. How about giving the WTC7 treatment to all buildings associated with Goldman Sachs! Maybe a small thermo-nuclear device in Canary Wharf would get rid of a fair number of corporate sharks. Maybe what’s needed are a small army of Sarah Connors giving the same treatment of corporate enemies of mankind as was given to the HQ of Dysons in “Judgement Day”. Fighting institutional corporate state terrorism using individual initiative.

06:18. Life seems to be near rock bottom when the only thing to look forward to is the total destruction of western civilisation, and more than that, death itself, with the expectation of and wish for hell.

07:09. Coming out of the worst of the above depression, a second night without sleep, in a row, I have a more upbeat mood, BUT its a fool’s courage, a reckless, devil may care, attitude to health and safety, which when calling for a bike ride to get somewhere by 19:00, will result in wild bicycling, unless my rational mind decides to moderate my behaviour, BECAUSE, I couldn’t give a tinker’s cuss whether I live or die, and IF a CIA or MI5 inspired RTC were to take place, my attitude beforehand would be, “Bring it ON!” This is a bat out of hell, roller coaster ride of transient and volatile emotions, a relinquishing of senses, reason, perception, of every mental faculty, in a mad frenzied brainstorm of in the now in the moment impulsiveness. The past and the future are of no consequence, and all consequences of present actions are completely ignored. I don’t give a damn.

10:00. The dynamic tension in this situation is giving me tons of energy, so there’s a Kidlington Health Walk at 10:30 followed by a projected 100 lengths swimming at 12:00. But this dynamic tension is not healthy, since it is fueled by hatred and defiance, and the using up of the energy is not for pleasure, but only because without engaging in exercise it would result in pent up adrenaline which would cause stress which is painful, so the exercise is only there to avoid pain and there’s no real pleasure in it. Hatred of God, defiance of every atom in Creation shunning me, and being hostile to me.

16:52. Went on the walk and ended up teaching the Faith. Went to Ferry Pool, from 13:19 to 14:47, 75 lengths, 88 minutes, 1 length = 1 minute 29 seconds. The last comment on Rita in Captain Scarlet mentioned the word “must” at least twice. To me, that makes a difference, especially since the owner of the host account, is in pole position in the grid of 9 on both our profile pages. So, after reviewing that comment, “The first law of marriage is that the bride and groom choose one another freely. You chose her, but she did not choose you. That’s it! You now have to stop thinking you are a victim, and get on with life! *You* have to find out when and where the Reflection Meeting is, and you have to go to it. The “Get back to bed this minute” upbringing has a lot to answer for, but *you* have to make it *your* life!” Not exactly “must”, but the same meaning as “have to”. Any other “interpretation” of the above will have to wait for back-up by empirical evidence. In the meantime, stop thinking as a victim, get on with life, make it MY life, as well as go to the CRM. The use of “have to”, being quite a strong imperative, and given the source, is quite interesting. Just HOW interesting remains to be seen. Reading between the lines and understanding the sub-text is tricky, plausibly deniable, open to huge error, unsupported by empirical evidence, so has to stay under the hat, Zippy!

21:44. Wow, talk about going at Mach 3 with you hare on fire! So much power in my old tree trunks on the way back from Qur’an Seminar. Not surprising after a 3 mile walk and 75 lengths, perhaps. So much power, so much easy speed. I feel the need, the need for speed! Pete (Maverick) Mitchell, you Top Gun, you! Sorry, that’s for Iceman, Maverick, Iceman studies hard and flies by The Book, NOT by the seat of his pants!

21:48. Nevar give up! Nevar give up! Nevar give up! And if you are going through HELL, keep going!

1711008/20140915a) Trust the Process. September 15, 2014

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05:11 BST (British Summer Time),
Kamal, 8th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Perfection, Perfection of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Ithnayn, 21st Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
Second  Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Monday, 15th September 2014 AD

05:11. I was advised to trust the process. I will do that. Even though I don’t understand it. Since there is a strong sentiment in my heart that declares that it will do anything within His law, to please No 6, to serve No 6, to obey the wishes of No 6, and perhaps a little selfishly, to end up sharing my life with No 6. No ifs or buts. Anything she wishes, within the law. Why? Because I love her. Very much. Why? Because she tutored me in Book 5, enabling me to witness the qualities of her soul, her true identity.

23:58. IF the process is about detaching me from that attachment, and being reconciled with that, then the process is bound to fail in its goal, and no result will ensue except my inactivity and estrangement from everything. IF that is an outcome that the authorities think they can avoid, think again. I’m a human being, not a robot, not a slave to God, not a saint, not am imbecile. Reading “Love and Estrangement in the Baha’i Community” by Arnold P Nerenberg published by Kalimat explains all this quite eloquently, and the rhetorical question “Why would anyone condition their relationship with the Manifestation of God on the success of a human relationship?” seems to me to belie a total ignorance of what makes me tick and the very core of the traumatic relationship I endured with my parents which trauma made my relationship with my other half the most overriding preoccupation of  my life. And if having faith in The Second Coming, and The Kingdom of God on Earth does NOT mean enjoying such a healing relationship with another human being, when that healing is the central most overriding preoccupation of my life, what on Earth is the point of believing in Baha’u’llah in the first place. Such a frustration would make to me The Baha’i Faith is to be utterly pointless, useless and a curse rather than a help.

1711007/20140913a) So near, and yet so far. September 14, 2014

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05:38 BST (British Summer Time),
Jamal, 7th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Beauty, Words of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Yaum Al-Ahad, 20th Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
First  Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Sunday, 14th September 2014 AD

 

 

She once said that I would see her again in Oxford, at a Feast in Marston, whose host later moved back to Perth, Australia. Its next month that the next CRM might well encompass all 3 counties instead of just Oxfordshire. Its conceivable that she already lives back in Oxford, Oxfordshire or Thames Valley, giving an explanation for someone mentioning to Leslie from America her name, maybe as Cluster Co-ordinator, at the last Feast in Littlemore. But her being so near, has NOT lifted the quarantine that we are both in as regards each other. Kilkenny seemed to make that fairly clear. And the “Coventry” I have been sent to, as regards Thames Valley has become even more draconian, so it seems, she is back, but not for me, and because my feelings have not changed, that marks me out as a social pariah, as far as the whole Oxford, Oxfordshire or Thames Valley is concerned. So, “feel the love”? It doesn’t SEEM like that from what I can perceive; markedly the opposite. Or maybe they’re just being silent, to make a happy surprise even more powerful. Is my life going to be multiplied or reduced to utter isolation? I haven’t a clue which.

1711006/20140913a) Lost at Sea? September 13, 2014

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23:35 BST (British Summer Time),
Jalal, 6th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Glory, Mercy of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
As-Sabt, 19th Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
Seventh  Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Saturday, 13th September 2014 AD

 

 

Am I really lost at sea, as a search term suggests, or metaphorically starving to death in the freezing wilderness between the Yukon and Alaska, as someone else seemed to suggest? My lack of friends with whom I can discuss personal issues locally, my reliance on the words of kindness and encouragement I receive on FB from friends, some of whom I have never met, which buoy me up amidst the swells of the ocean, and help me to carry on treading water, until International Rescue arrives, assuming they WILL arrive eventually, all might suggest to an observer that I’ve had my chips. Perhaps its just another situation in which the outer world thinks I’m done for, when in reality, a reality that is just moonshine to vast majority of mankind, I am sustained by Baha’u’llah and the Concourse on High, and I enjoy links with His Administrative Order, which go far deeper than any outward observer can detect, even a glance and and almost imperceptible nod of encouragement, reassurance and moral support. And, assuming that such a glance is correctly perceived, why worry? Why worry, about earthly support, when the Lord of Hosts has my back? No need at all. Lost at sea? Yeah, right!

Having noticed that I’d written in July about feeling lost at sea, reading through the post, it struck me that the Lord of Hosts was exactly what was missing then, or at least an awareness that He had my back. The trick will be to continue believing that if No 6 never comes back, and if she does come back, to rely on Baha’u’llah rather than her. It MUST be a three-way relationship, and if He is not in sovereign dominion over both of us, it will not work.

1711003/20140910a) A Change of Circumstances. September 10, 2014

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14:15 BST (British Summer Time),
‘Idal, 3rd ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Justce, Beauty of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Arba’aa’, 16th Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
Fourth  Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Tuesday, 9th September 2014 AD

 

 

1) The Word of God.

“A change of circumstances may well require additional measures.” After watching “2012”, its easy to see why. “LXX. The world’s equilibrium hath been upset through the vibrating influence of this most great, this new World Order. Mankind’s ordered life hath been revolutionized through the agency of this unique, this wondrous System — the like of which mortal eyes have never witnessed.” (Baha’u’llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 136). “LXI. The world is in travail, and its agitation waxeth day by day. Its face is turned towards waywardness and unbelief. Such shall be its plight, that to disclose it now would not be meet and seemly. Its perversity will long continue. And when the appointed  119  hour is come, there shall suddenly appear that which shall cause the limbs of mankind to quake. Then, and only then, will the Divine Standard be unfurled, and the Nightingale of Paradise warble its melody.” (Baha’u’llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 118). So, if as in “2012”, there is an increase in heat just under the Earth’s crust, reducing the viscosity of the mantle, the loss of California in the San Andreas Fault, and the rest of the USA due to the Yellowstone super volcano, presaging the global destabilisation of plate tectonics, involving a huge polar shift and ECD (Earth Crust Displacement), with the south pole ending up in Wisconsin, then THAT change of circumstances may well affect the Baha’is’ implementation of the Badi calendar, with the civilisation so vaunted by the west, “Whoso cleaveth to justice, can, under no circumstances, transgress the limits of moderation. He discerneth the truth in all things, through the guidance of Him Who is the All-Seeing. The civilization, so often vaunted by the learned exponents of arts and sciences, will, if allowed to overleap the bounds of moderation, bring great evil upon men. Thus warneth you He Who is the All-Knowing. If carried to excess, civilization will prove as prolific a source of evil as it had been of goodness when kept within the restraints of moderation. Meditate on this, O people, and be not of them that wander distraught in the wilderness of error. The day is approaching when its flame will devour the cities, when the Tongue of Grandeur will proclaim: “The Kingdom is God’s, the Almighty, the All-Praised!” (Baha’u’llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 342), having its champion locality crushed under kilometres of ice, just as Antarctica/Atlantis did after the flood of Noah (“As in the days of Noah, so shall it be”), before THAT ECD displaced the north pole from Hudson Bay to its present location in the Arctic, just 12,000 to 14,000 years ago.

1711002/20140909a) A ventriloquist’s dummy is filled with life. September 9, 2014

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23:59 BST (British Summer Time),
Fidal, 2nd ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Grace, Glory of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Ath-Thalaathaa’, 15th Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
Third  Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Tuesday, 9th September 2014 AD

 

 

1) The Word of God.

23:59. Just now, during the first piece of music in a Unity Feast for ‘Izzat, Might, year 171 of The Baha’i Era, as I had closed my eyes, and immersed myself in the lilting melodies of the spiritually inspired music, used my learned ability to “go into alpha” from Transcendental Meditation, and imagined Baha’u’llah standing on the far side of the room, looking at me sternly, intensely. And then, he disappeared and reappeared at the same time in front of me looking intently at me, as before. Then he walked slowly and deliberately to his left, and to my right, and looking down to the floor in front of Him, walked behind me, and walking into me, occupying my space, like the hand inside a ventriloquists dummy, filled out the space occupied by my body, and then I felt joy.

 

1710907/20140826a) Lone Wolf. August 26, 2014

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05:38 BST (British Summer Time),
Fidal, 7th Asma’, 171 BE
Grace, Words of Names
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Ath-Thalaathaa’, 1st Dhu al-Qidah, 1435 AH
Third  Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Tuesday, 26th August 2014 AD

 

 

 

Its clear to me now that planet Earth is splitting into two. One Earth, full of “happy” people, as shown in FB photos on my News Feed will carry on into the future, and another Earth, full of the people who are “left behind” will carry on into the future as well, the two populations separated from each other as were Will and Lyra at the end of “His Dark Materials”, never to meet again. The happy Earth maybe will be full of people holding yellow daffodils, they are the sheep. The sad Earth will be full of the people holding black sub-machine guns, they are the goats. And the few lone wolves, like me, will go to an Earth which is largely deserted as in the New Zealand sci-fi movie “The Quiet Earth” which will be like this housing estate, where the vast majority of residents seem to be permanently on holiday in the south of France. Maybe they are just in another phase, and invisible, with only the occasional knock on the door or window, which often wakes me up to find that there’s no one there. I wonder if this is how mankind started, with lone wolves Adam and Eve, and a few other people in the Land of Nod, a brand new beginning, from scratch, the people who are neither sheep nor goats, the few people carrying neither a yellow daffodil nor a black sub-machine gun. Maybe the number “33” is about the primary colours in colour subtraction and addition. Red, green and blue. And yellow, magenta and cyan. So she is magenta. And I am either green or cyan. Which is it going to be, cyan to be with her, or green to be alone. I hope cyan, but God makes the final decision, soon. Maybe most people are attached to one pole or the other, and I am “bipolar” and alternate between the two. I suppose I will know soon enough which I am, when skipping between the two becomes impossible, unless there is a world for bipolar people like The Quiet Earth, (1985).

05:46. I feel as if the Baha’is despise me because of my character, and don’t want me in their private lives, because I am unhappy without her, and the non-Baha’is despise me because of my religious beliefs. so I belong to no one and no where. Boo-hoo!

1710906/20140825a) Strange Omens. August 25, 2014

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11:48 BST (British Summer Time),
Kamal, 6th Asma’, 171 BE
Perfection, Mercy of Names
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Ithnayn, 29th Shawwal, 1435 AH
Second  Day of the week, of The Raised Month
Monday, 25th August 2014 AD

 

 

 

I found two rubber/plastic rings on the pebbles in front of my bay window yesterday morning, the kind of rings that are made by looms into friendship bracelets these days by many children, such as in Manchester, supplying Wellington, where I purloined one whose colour was and is quite close to Magenta. And the two rings on my pebbles have the colours, Magenta, and Blue and Green, that is 1) Magenta and 2) Blue and Green. And in the world of colour subtraction and addition, we learn that Magenta is a combination of Red and Blue. So, a perfect blending of Red and Blue is twinned with a two-tone combination of Blue and Green, where there is an alternating of colour. Blue is common to them both, blue for ties and serviettes, but the alternate colour for one is Red, or Crimson for the Crimson Ark/Arc, and the alternate colour for the other is Green, which is symbolic of many things. But the fascination for “interpreting clues” is waning, and I’m getting tired of “over interpreting”. Let’s just say that Captain Magenta is Patrick Donohue from Dublin, and Captain Blue is Adam Svenson from America and Lt Green is Cloudbase Communications Officer from the Caribbean. Also if Blue is good, howabout Jake Sully from “Avatar” who realised he’d “got it backwards” and became a blue-skinned Na’vi, and if Green is bad, maybe the Incredible Hulk on a bad day. And Magenta is perhaps just Pink for “Pinkskin”, a white Caucasian who is without doubt the most beautiful human being I’ve ever met, though in saying that, I admit that my judgement is perhaps  distorted by an insane heart which is so biased in favour of her, that its as if I’m speaking with the voice of Spock, but that my heart like McCoy is emotional to the point of being just very human. “a man must abound in sanity to merit the madness of love”. So where did those 2 little rubber rings, each a centimetre across come from? A well-wisher perhaps. I feel “Mysteronised” and being supported by “strange powers that we, mere humans, cannot hope to understand”!

Looking at the rings again, the Blue in the “Blue and Green” could be more accurately described as Cyan (Blue and Green combined) and Pale Lime Green. Which puts a different complexion on things. Lime Green could be “English”, as in using lime fruits on British warships to use viatmin C to fit off scurvy, so that the English get called “limeys”. and Cyan, a perfect blending of Captain Blue and Lt Green, an American super-hero acting as sidekick to the Crimson King, and having an excellent ability to communicate from Cloudbase to everywhere and anywhere, from Cloudbase, whose location is unknown to all but a few, and high above “the Earth”, in the clouds, often “cloud 9″! And this “Captain Cyan” is occasionally “English” instead of Afro-Carribean and American. Maybe this shows that I am English by birth and upbringing, but by education (SuperMarionation, NASA and Bobby Kennedy) I am American with a deeply intense empathy and sympathy for the ideals of Martin Luther King Junior. Ref:- Gregory Peck as Aticus Finch in “To Kill a Mockingbird”.

17:47. And then when clutching at straws seems to bear no fruit, all hopes fall to ashes, complete entropy is encountered, and there is nothing but emptiness and the idea of a loving God is very far away indeed.

19:42. Since human beings, whether intentionally or not, cause me only pain, I am being driven into total social isolation, an isolation which is nearly complete and absolute.

21:51. It became too painful to remain silent, so I rang No2 on No6’s grid of 9, and he pulled me out of my black pit again. Its good that there are so many Baha’is that I can talk to, in order to accomplish this. Of course, it would be good if I stopped falling into black pits in the first place, but that how my mind works, falling into black pits. Maybe my higher self does it on purpose, in order to create a problem, so that I react, and then execute the solution. But it is my higher unconscious self that does this not me. I’m just along for the ride, and HOPING that my higher self knows what she’s doing.

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