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56) Contents List:- July 27, 2007

Posted by pete1844 in Lists.
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(D) equals Draft and therefore unpublished and inaccessible to anyone without the password. (P) equals published as accessible to anyone who enters the address https://pete1844.wordpress.com There is another Blog now about my dad called “The Gospel according to Saint Cuthbert”, which can be found at http://rose1863.wordpress.com

Baha’i Articles

15) 8 6 07 Annual Oxford Inter-Faith Walk from Synagogue to Church to Mosque
41) 8 7 07 Unity Gatherings organised in Oxford by a group of Baha’is

Business

182) 11 10 07 (P) Peter Baldwin Office Services

Dialogue

6) 4 6 07 Family Guy on Obfuscation and Disengenuousness

Diary/Journal

90) 13 9 07 (D) Private letter, not sent.
91) 14 9 07 (D) Private letter, not sent: And where is Our Town, please?
135) 30 9 07 (D) Private letter: Ultimatum: not sent.
144) 9 10 07 (D) Diary/Journal/Poem: I will not lie. Non-Baha’i material: Scorpio/Couples for 10th October 2007.

Dreams

100) 18 9 07 (D) Oxford and Bangor delivered by dad
101) 19 9 07 (D) Venkman and the Ghostbusters
102) 19 9 07 (D) One Fine Day, Jim Carrey day, 23rd September.
103) 19 9 07 (D) Father Christmas marries in Liverpool Baha’i Centre, allegedly.
104) 19 9 07 (D) Reverie, “Marry me!”; Text, “Sure, in the next 95 Days?”
105) 19 9 07 (D) Pigs Might Fly!
114) 22 9 07 (D) No Light at the End of an Endless Tunnel
174)10 10 07 (D) Rob pays me a visit.
188) 17 10 07 (D) Two Floors, bottom one empties!
192) 18 10 07 (D) Nelly times Two. (see also History)
236) 19 11 07 (D) The Doors!

Editorials

177) 11 10 07 (D) The games girls play!

History

192) 18 10 07 (D) Nelly times Two. (see also Dreams).

Jokes

197) 25 10 07 (P) The Geek/Gonk!

Letters

135) 8 10 07 (D) Ultimatum.

Lists

16) 10 6 07 Glossary
56) 27 7 07 Contents

Memories

175) 11 10 07 (D) The Late Eighties.

Newspapers

3) 2 6 07 Dim salesman survives vicious wild cat in the woods!
4) 6 6 07 Shook Horror! Father Christmas rumoured to marry in Liverpool Baha’í Centre
5) 3 6 07 Father Christmas leads lepracauns and Martians; New Flag!
11) 6 6 07 Monica Rose fronts “Opportunity Knocks” and “Double Your Money” with Hughie Green
36) 22 7 07 Lady Penelope has a little girl; “Parker?!!!!!”
40) 17 6 07 Stupid Dog led up the garden path by the lead in Leeds
51) 23 7 07 Freedom Fighter lets Cat out of Bag
52) 26 7 07 The Slug and the shaggy dog; the Coke can and the deflated football.
65) 4 9 07 Inter-City 125 loses the will to live!

Non-fiction essays

Non-Me Sources

119) 27 9 07 (P) Diana’s kids’ quotes on Marriage.
145) 12:29, 9 10 07 (D) Astrology.com on Scorpio/Couples.
180) 11 10 07 (P) Tony Hicks’ Poem: Beyond the bars.

Novels

30) 13 6 07 X-Dog to the Death!
39) 15 6 07 X-Dog to the Death!
211) 2 11 07 Novel No 1, “Peace in our Time?”
214) 2 11 07 Novel No 2, “Africa after Kampala”
234) 18 11 07 Novel No 3, “But, Jeremy, that’s sheer madness!”

Poems

21) 17 2 07 (P) From Ireland with Love
194) 8 4 07 (P) What IS China?
14) 7 6 07 “Fluffkins, moi?”
17) 10 6 07 Anticipation
20) 11 6 07 Cat Fight:- Team Aniston vs. Team Jolie!
22) 11 6 07 Justice was never better served
24) 12 6 07 After the Epitaph
26) 13 6 07 Cats and Dogs
28) 13 6 07 A poem promised, a poem written
29) 13 6 07 Cats and Dogs
34) 15 6 07 (D) Relentless Pig/Dog pummels Little White Dog
44) 20 7 07 Mellow Yellow
45) 20 7 07 Dear Blofeld or Beyond Good and Evil by Nietsche
48) 21 7 07 Michael Valentine Smith watches TV
49) 22 7 07 Morse regenerates as Rebus
50) 23 7 07 MJ hits the Spot or Bad Boy gets Spanked
97) 27 7 07 Comrade Vostok forbids entrepreneurs
57) 1 8 07 The Day-Star shines in Eyes, Aye!
64) 11 8 07 Rest in Peace
70) 7 9 07 Openness or Secrecy, Rashness or Tact and Diplomacy?
71) 7 9 07 (D) The Stars are Eloquent tonight!
72) 8 9 07 (D) Your Friend Needs You
73) 8 9 07 (D) Marlow, Philip Marlow, rambles on
74) 10 9 07 (D) The End or Not The End?
75) 10 9 07 (D) Piracy and Hijacking, the worst crimes!
76) 10 9 07 (D) Don’t be Sad!
77) 12 9 07 (D) Neanderthal thuds of the world, unite!
78) 12 9 07 (D) Whatever happened to 1976; has it been deleted?
80) 13 9 07 (D) Dates, Figs and the Grapes of Wrath
81) 13 9 07 (D) Whatever happened to 1979; has Thunderbird 1 been lost whilst Thunderbird 2 was in for repairs?
84) 13 9 07 (D) 1982 hasn’t really been deleted, just brought forward one year and rendered Top Secret.
85) 13 9 07 (D) If you leave me, I’ll find your replacement in one week! I’ll stay!
86) 13 9 07 (D) Got the Twin Noodle after all?
87) 13 9 07 (D) Donald Duck restored to position of honour!
88) 13 9 07 (D) Skinhead O’Connor is the bees-knees!
89) 13 9 07 (D) The Black Poodle nobeys command to “Stay, Boy!”
136) 15 9 07 (D) That really takes the biscuit.
137) 15 9 07 (D) Twin Lights.
138) 15 9 07 (D) Are you fascinated by that? I thought so!
96) 16 9 07 (D) Proctor and Gamble
95) 16 9 07 (D) Are you sitting comfortably?
94) 16 9 07 (D) The 18:30 from Hereford to Paddington
93) 16 9 07 (D) I find my home
92) 16 9 07 (D) I’m Jess I am! Can I ‘ave some coffee
98) 17 9 07 Piotr Lubienko is next Red Phoenix!
99) 18 9 07 (D) How sex looks from 13 to 15
106) 19 9 07 (D) Open talk Abolished!
107) 20 9 07 (D) “Mrs Smith I presume! You trying to take me out? Then, prepare to die, Mrs Smith!”
108) 20 9 07 (D) Lubrication
109) 20 9 07 (D) No skin off my nose! Not!
110) 21 9 07 (D) I just wanted to be close to Mum. Is that such a crime?
111) 21 9 07 (D) He’s very Clean!
113) 22 9 07 (D) Epitaph of Desolation
115) 22 9 07 (D) “Faith” was written by Ruhiyyih Khanum
112) 22 9 07 (D) Return to Neverland
116) 22 9 07 (D) Rattled!
117) 23 9 07 (D) She’s Looking Good!
118) 27 9 07 (D) We’re the Helawi!
120) 28 9 07 (D) Slush Fun!
121) 28 9 07 (D) Wierd Communication, 1st version.
139) 28 9 07 (D) Wierd Communication, 2nd version.
122) 28 9 07 (D) Saved, regularly!
140) 29 9 07 (D) Six Feet Under.
141) 29 9 07 (D) Weaker as a Child.
142) 17:04, 30 9 07 (D) Vitamin C of No Avail.
123) 3 10 07 (D) Reality is crap!
124) 4 10 07 (D) Pressing Oneward and Upward!
132) 7 10 07 (D) Who’s Who?
131) 7 10 07 (D) Tigger and Rabbot aren’t talking!
130) 7 10 07 (D) Harry Osborn, super hero, finds the Keyes!
129) 7 10 07 (D) Franklin wants a Red Scooter!
128) 7 10 07 (D) Franklin’s afraid of his shell.
127) 7 10 07 (D) Are you sitting Comfortably? The sequel.
126) 7 10 07 (D) Nero.
125) 7 10 07 (D) My newt’s got “mixing me toasties”, Not!
133) 8 10 07 (D) The Truth.
134) 8 10 07 (D) Pleading, Bleeding, Needing.
143) 17:16, 7 10 07 (D) Sick as a Dog, or a Cat with furr-balls?
144) 17:58, 8 10 07 (D) Dogs say the funniest things!
146) 18:53, 8 10 07 (D) Fire on The Earth! Leave the Air in a Fog!
147) 9 10 07 (D) Music to your Ears!
148) 8 10 07 (D) Down, Boy!
149) 23:17, 6 10 07 (D) That’s what they all say!
150) 18:17, 6 10 07 (D) Flying, Empirical or Circumstantial?
151) 18:07, 6 10 07 (D) Swimming with Dolphins.
152) 08:01, 5 10 07 (D) Iran or Britain crushed between two fingers?
153) 16:13, 4 10 07 (D) Obedience.
154) 06:03, 4 10 07 (D) I can exist in a world without Love.
155) 9 10 07 (D) The Moody Blues
156) 3 10 07 (D) The Solution’s in my Hand!
157) c.07:00, 3 10 07 (D) Arse about Face.
158) c.14:45, 2 10 07 (D) Storks bring Brian a Puppy and a chocolate Rabbit.
159) c.14:30, 2 10 07 (D) Let Words, not Deeds…
160) 9 10 07 (D) Too sugary, too little salt!
161) c.14:15, 2 10 07 (D) Culinary Heaven
162) 06:36, 2 10 07 (D) What, without a Space-Helmet.
163) 05:42, 2 10 07 (D) Passion and Lust.
164) 11:24, 17 9 07 (D) Mon Twin Deserter.
165) 13:27, 16 9 07 (D) What do you want, Peter?
166) 12:46, 16 9 07 (D) Label.
167) 11:41, 16 9 07 (D) Jackie Meredith, poet.
168) 11:18, 16 9 07 (D) Twin Parrots make Pete Jump.
169) 11:13, 16 9 07 (D) 3 oranges, 3 limes and 2 grapefruit.
170)
171)
172)
173) 10 10 07 (D) Single and alone.
178) 11 10 07 (D) ’76 deleted again; not as sick as a Dog?
179) 11 10 07 (P) Dad is gone, but there is no real separation.
181) 11 10 07 (D) Only you.
183) 16 10 07 (D) Twin Bachelor Songs.
184) 17 10 07 (D) Tears.
185) 17 10 07 (D) Daisy, Rose.
186) 17 10 07 (D) Go on, Score!
187) 17 10 07 (D) Lights, Camera, Action!
189) 17 10 07 (D) The Postman only Knocked Twice.
190) 17 10 07 (D) The man who fell to Earth.
191) 18 10 07 (D) Sobriety.
193) 18 10 07 (D) The FAB Four and Joe 90!
195) 24 10 07 (D) Three Noodles.
196) 25 10 07 (D) Marriage and Obfuscation.
198) 25 10 07 (D) Natural Born Killer Mango!
199) 26 10 07 (D) Sleep, wot’s that?
200) 26 10 07 (D) The M(a/i)ster gives me a F(r)ight!
201)
202) 26 10 07 (D) Dirty Dog!
203) 26 10 07 (D) Return of the Jedi.
204) 26 10 07 (D) Isolation with God.
205) 27 10 07 (D) Divine Mind Games.
206) 27 10 07 (D) Vegetable Resurrection.
208) 28 10 07 (D) A Penny for my thoughts.
209) 30 10 07 (D) Sarah burn heart.
210) 2 11 07 (D) Back o’ the inter-net!
212) 2 11 07 (D) Whatever happened to 2001?
213) 2 11 07 (D) 63 being “stuck” is replaced by 211.
215) 2 11 07 (D) 13 out, 60 out, 214 in.
216) 3 11 07 (D) A remarkable result.
217) 3 11 07 (D) A remarkable result 2.
218) 4 11 07 (D) Unbearable Pleasure.

Reveries

186) 17 10 07 (D) Go on, Score!

Short Stories

8) 5 6 07 Dr Tony Bloodhound says, “I go, I come back, soon, hopefully!”
9) 6 6 07 Failing the Spelling Bee!
37) 15 6 07 The Green Vase
43) 19 7 07 The Thing disappears!
54) 27 7 07 Venkman meets his match
58) 9 8 07 Michael Palin IS Bicyclerepairman and Enya is well, Enya.
66) 6 9 07 Ray Bennington and the Total Perspective Vortex
69) 6 9 07 (D) Ray Bennington and the Total Perspective Vortex

Signposts?

Web-Pages

177) 11 10 07 (D) My First html Web-Page: The Games Girls Play!
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54) Short Story No 1:- Venkman meets his match! July 27, 2007

Posted by pete1844 in Short Story.
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17:09, Sunday 3rd June 2007. Peter Venkman, famous and also infamous Ghostbuster, was dreaming the Beatles song, “I Need You”. But he then forgot his dream, as at 05:38, he woke up with a start, wide awake. His large blue and yellow parrot, Augustine, had parroted suddenly, as if out of nowhere, “Go, Man, Go!”. He looked up the time on his new mobile, interpreting the  two numbers in the most positive way he could imagine, a conscious and deliberate self-deception he had learned drom his para-psychology Masters. as a trick to play on himself to boost his self-esteem and confidence. ”5″ for the number of his academic qualifications he will have attained with his Doctorate in the “Statistical significance of Co-incidence in the level of fullfillment in people’s lives”, and “38″ for the year of “Munich”, when Chamberlain had referred to Czechoslavakia as “a far off country of which we know nothing”, “38″ being for Venkman a symbol of the country he dreamed with so much vain pain of emigrating to with Dana, if only she would stop playing silly buggers and allow them to progress their relationship, which he craved and missed so badly.

She hadn’t dumped him, as far as he knew, or hoped, but was just putting him on ice until he could summon the guts to emerge from his own self-imposed  exile behind a protective mask of court-jesterish one-liners and verbal witticisms, of fained self-assurance and bravado. Behind his mask, he needed her as if without her being in his presence, he would slowly die of oxygen starvation. His memory of childhood media images flashed Lambert in the Bank of England vault as a clerk in the Thunderbirds episode, “Vault of Death” being asphixiated, unaware that he was locked in while firstly beavering away at paperwork into the night, and secondly as the air was sucked out of the vault to protect ancient documents from damaging deterioration in the ensuing vacuum. And also Dr. Frank Poole of the 2001 to 3001 quadology who after the ostensibly insane HAL 9000 computer onboard the Discovery 1 spacecraft on its way to explore Jupiter, cut Frank’s oxygen line to his yellow spacesuit, leaving him on ice in space for a millenium freeze dried, until revived by very advanced Chrislamic tech after a chance meeting with a spaceship  in the depths of interplanetary space.

Venkman felt the same melodramatic asphixiation as Dana starved him of her voice, her printed words, her eyes, her presence, ger smile, her laugh, her joy. The list went on and on. He opened his fridge for his 125ml morning ration of Forever Living Aloe Vera Gel, half expecting, half hoping that Gozor of Zool would reappear and either possess his soul or slay him to rescue him from his childishly low emotional pain threshold. Alas, apart from the Gel, some jam, 2 micro-meals, cjeshire cheese, and out of date rabbit food in the guise of carrots, tomatos and lettuce, there was nothing else there, although in teh freezer were 5 loaves of sliced wholemeal. He sliced 30 gms of cheshire as his ration of proteinto supplement his proteinless Quaker oats, crunched on a Brazil nut to help maintain his Seratonin levels and then microed a pudding basin of three quarters of a cup of oats with one and a half cups of water. On his computer Venkman set Windows Media Player to play Beatles playlist No 2 while the oats brgan to warm up. “What you’re doing to me?” complained Lennon vicariously for him and then “I Need You” made him feel again that Lennon understood him perfectly. He wasn’t alone. Maybe Dana wasn’t either, in her relentless resolve to altar hymn at all costs and make him fit her prfile of what she required in her man if he was to shape up. He cursed nature’s determination of the relationship ‘tween men and women, sprinkled some lite cane sugar on his porridge, newly liberated from the microwave, followed by a liberal effusion of pumpkin seeds, to supplement the Brazil nut, and waited for the porridge to cool down enough to eat. The Beatles began to cheer up and celebrate requited love after all and he started to enjoy the fantasy again, forgetting conveniently that he hadn’t any empirical evidence, yet, that she considered him as yet suitably “shaped”. He wished he was a shapeshifter from the planet Tharg like Dana’s friend Maia from Nanjing, in her ludicrously fantastic novel of the planet that she’d written last winter. Just then, while feeling sullen and self-pitying, Louise rang to engage him in  apparently idle chit-chat. He knew however that he was being “sounded out”. Nothing of substance  was said except the usual  resident’s association business. Then 5 minutes later, report-back concluded, Dana rang him, asking him without betraying the least emotion if he’d gancy going to the pictures this evening to see “Pirates at World’s End”. He would then, he anticipated, agonise whether he was Bloom or Depp, hopefully thinking himself Bloom, and cursed his own Depp-like wit. Like a puppy-dog, tongue lolling out, panting and drooling, tail wagging furiously, he ran analagously to Dana for her affection, dependent, vulnerable, powerless and enthusiastically accepted her invitation behind a feigned aura of manly indifference. She knew different. She warmed to him, but totally secretly, feeling immense if not infinite compassion for his utter powerlessness in his grief, and love for him as her chosen soul-mate.

 08:05, Sunday 10th June 2007

After being disappointed by Dana changing her plans at the last moment to go to the theatre instead, and he finding himself duty-bound to attend a memorial to a fallen hero, the memorial full of inspiration for his own Ghostbusting destiny, and later going to see “Pirates 3″ with a mate and finding the film excellent, but romantically intensely depressing, this was yet another opportunity to ply his trade with her, though he was getting the impression that for him to take the initiative, though quite possibly appreciated as a declaration of flattering interest and intent, nevertheless, always fell foul of usual feminine prima donna superiority of woman over men, an ego that insisted that he take the intitiative, always ready to put his head on the chopping block at every available opportunity, always finging his head realing a little while later, round and round, under a circle of stars, in a wicker basket. She did not take the initiative, but made herself available as the object of jis desire to gawp at, so that he would dutifully put it on the block again, so here he went again. It was early morning and he rang her mobile; as always it invited voicemail. He parroted his prepared script, “Hi Dana, The Doctor here, I’m free this afternoon; are you? Would you like to go to the pictures with me? Ash recommends Clooney but I’ve got better ideas! What sayest thou? We could meet at the Lebanese at about 12:15, 14:45, 17:15, or 20:00 and then see the film after a snack. Today’s the last day the film’s on! Please answer this time, and not White Noise on my landline; I’ll be away from home all morning, so I’ll miss it, and anyway what does 5 minutes of White Noise mean anyway, just a receipt my my commucation ,without a reply? Anyway, enough of my crabbiness, hope you’re well and ecstatic, and hope to hear your reply soon, whether by call, voicemail or text. Oh, please remember to tell me which of the 4 options you want to take! All my love, Pete.” Venkman then carried on getting up, to get ready ready for another training session on Ghostbusting with Ash, taken bu the company’s expert coach and trainer, O’Brien. He contempleted Richard Burton as O’Brien with his rats in Room 101 and John Hurt in the modern colour version of 1984, by George Orwell, and shuddered. Ghosts could be spooky sometimes.

 22:41, Thursday, 14th June 2007.

After going to O’Brien’s training, Venkman started to get spooked, and he was surprised just how spooked he became. Gozor of Zool, was a picnic compared with what happened next. First of all, he started getting White Noise landline messages from, automated call centres, so he thought. Then one afternoon, when he was home instead of work, he answered the phone. He heard what sounded like an office in the background, but almost immediately, it turned into the now familiar White Noise; he smelt a rat. He remembered the film, “A Matter of Life and Death”, and how the Richard Attenborough character had gazed wistfully down through a light-well onto a vast concourse on high, of heavenly clerks executing their divine clericism. He though, “this is heaven!” The receptionist said to David Niven, “You see there are millions of poeple down on earth who consider that being a clerk is heaven!” So this White Noise is from an office in heaven! I’m being haunted by divine clerics! They’re praying on my nerves! They’re going to drive me insane!

04:31, Friday 27th July 2007

Venkman got awoken early as usual and looked at himself, bleary-eyed in his mirror. “Lost in translation!” he thought to himself with irony. He didn’t feel his normally chipper, take the world on with a full frontal assault of biting and hilarious humour, self. “Mate”, he said to himself as if a good, but stern friend, “you’re an alcoholic!” He had realised that he must take one day at a time, and if he arrived home in his flat this evening intact, calm, not quite so at war with himself as he felt now, he would have succeeded. Tomorrow, soon, and the rest of his life would have to wait until tomorrow, and tomorrow never comes. Today was the order of the day. His drug, his alcohol, his Coke, his heroine, Dana, would have to be put on ice, so to speak, in his own heart, to stop himself frying himself alive, much as he enjoyed all the “sizzle”. Dana, aware of Venkman’s need to change before there could be any more between them had politely asked him if he would let her say no to his pleading for her love. He had replied certainly, being somewhat if not entirely a nineteenth century gentleman. The shananagins of the summer would have to stop dead, here, and there was a lot of work to be done. Venkman was going to become an extremely “dull” boy. Dana knew this was necessary, all his friends did, and especially his manager, Mary, at… what was Ghostbusters now called, he couldn’t even remember the new name of his employer… who had, though sympathetic to the rigours of romantic love gone mad, read his a very gentle riot act and told him to get into work and work. Dana, hard-headed to a tee, had not flinched throughout all this, as far as Venkman knew anyway, and had lept working hard and smiling throughout, now Venkman had to start to act his age as well.

Ghostbusters had been taken over by a department of a semi-nationalised half-private half government qwango-corporation which now ruled New Zealand on behalf of New World, the newly established Federation of the more advanced and enlightened nations which had clubbed together to accept the sovereignty of a sub-set of the UNO, had agreed to curtail their own sovereignty in terms of foreign policy and rights to exact taxation, and agreed to adopt a standard constitution based on a melding of all false dichotomies, related to government. Private/national, socialist/capitalist, individual/community, centralised/local initiative etc. Ghostbusters had been renamed by the “UNZed” Corporation to reflect it’s wider remit, but Venkman still couldn’t remember what the new name now installed. Not only ghosts and their attendant psychological blocks, but general attachments, problems with adapting to a realisation of the First Insight and spiritual training in general were all now part of the organisation’s purpose and mission in the whole of the Federation, gradually expanding to include more and more of the UNO’s almost universal reach across the planet and it’s colonies on the Moon and Mars. Practical Spirituality was now THE growth industry having replaced IT some years before. Venkman’s rudimentary experiments in ESP had just been stratching the surface, and now Training Institutes had sprung up all over the world to spread the expertise in the new soft “technology”. Venkman, now shaved, proceeded to take a shower, say some prayers, (being an alcoholic seemed to have robbed him of his appetite for God), eat some breakfast, get up and get to work on the exigencies and requirements of his age.

To be continued…

52) News Story: The Slug and the Shaggy Dog; the Coke can and the deflated football. July 26, 2007

Posted by pete1844 in Newspapers.
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20:19, Thursday 26th July 2007

Kevin’s ear! I know what you’re thinking; what tripe has Kevin got for us tonight? But it’s actually very interesting. Just the other day, minding my own business, getting the bus from my flat on the outskirts of Redditch into town to do some shopping, I spied a couple of very thought-provoking sights.

Number One:- waiting for the bus, I was gazing around at the surrounding rubbish and litter, and found there was nothing of interest in the immediate vicinity, so I strode along a few feet and found in the bushes of the grass verge, a shiny fresh Golden Red Phoenix-like Coke can, empty of course, but on closer examination, found to my surprise that a slug had it’s head buried in it’s opening, trying presumably, attracted by the sweet smell, to extrciate the very last vestiges of sugary liquid inside. What a slug! I thought.

Number Two:- once on the bus, I noted with delight a large dirty grey shaggy dog, (Scooby Doo!!!) but not light brown, but lovingly carrying in it’s teeth a thoroughly deflated, punctured and ruptured, broken and bruised black and white football. I imagined that this lovable, caring, good-natured, playful animal had worried the poor ball to death like a sheep, and felt at once, sorry for the poor state of play of the ball, and affection for the good nature and playfulness of the dog, a fine specimen if ever there was one. Could do with a bath, though. New balls?

 Never fear, Kevin’s ear, bringing you all the latest from the fair city of Redditch!

51) News Editorial: Freedom Fighter lets Cat out of Bag. July 23, 2007

Posted by pete1844 in Newspapers.
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05:55, Monday 23rd July 2007

Kevin’s ear! Who wrote Total Recall anyway? And why can’t we change the script? What if Oberon, the Fairy King has changed Arnie’s, sorry, Quaid’s, affections so completely, that he is irrevocably in love with Lori, even though she knows it’s all hocum, and she is beginning to come round to Quaid’s point of view, and what if Quaid insists, not only on that, and that he’s really not interested in Melina anymore, though he used to be, and that he recognises that the rebellion by Quato, though correct in wanting to start the alien reactor to bring life, must work in co-operation with the agency and not against it; that it fact the agency and the rebels, are complimentary, are working to the same ends, and just need to get together, craete a dialogue, and co-operate, like all the other false dichotomies in society, north and south, east and west, Christian and Islamic, spiritual and materialistic, atheist and deist, Mysterons and Spectrum, Earthling and alien, Earth and Mars, male and female, conventional and metrosexual, traditional and reformer, capitalist and socialist, labour and capital, Bond and Blofeld, Vishnu and Shiva, integration and disintegration, global co-ordination and local initiative, secular government and New Revelation, old religions and New Revelation, even good and bad. Lets get away from all the false dichotomies, and go for unity. Melina and Lori? But Quaid can marry only one, and he wants his virtual marriage to Lori to become real, and just be friends with Melina. Is Quaid “Mistaken” that he can re-write the Future? What has Oberon done to change his heart from Hermia to Helena? What if Lysander stays fallen for Helena, and Oberon can’t get him to return to Hermia? What if Demetrius and Lysander are one and the same, Quaid, and Quaid wants all colours, green, yellow, and pink to apply to Lori, the object of his affection for over a year. What if this “year” will never end? Cohagen’s Plan is really turning out very differently from Piers Antony’s story, from Cohagen’s intentions, and from what Quato envisaged as well. Or is Lori Red with rage and holds up a Red Light for Danger! Stop! refuses to co-operate, and Quaid ends up with a rowing boat with no where to go? How will virtual reality pan out in realtion to thye Real World? Too many questions? Too much misery for a little monkey who loves Spot? Come on, God, give them all a break! This is Kevin’s ear, listening for tell-tale wedding bells, but from where, out of the 4 countries, and celebrating for whom. Quaid knows what he wants; when will Lori reveal all? Howabout Quaid being Captain Scarlet with Scarlet O’Hara, and giving a damn about her! Up the Reds! Man united! Who’s going to sing the Red Flag? With the Blues playing only a supporting role?

50) Poem: M J hits the Spot, or Bad Boy gets spanked. July 23, 2007

Posted by pete1844 in Poem.
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13:22, Sunday 22nd July 2007 

M J knew the Truth
that Peter Parker
though pretending to be a good egg
was a Bad Boy
and needed a good spanking.
While pretending to be as innocent as a dove,
as a puppy dog called Spot,
fawning on her
his dearest deer,
Peter Parker as a little dog
wasn’t like Spot the Dog at all.
He’d been spotted for what he really was
and needed a good slap
M J administered the punishment
but Pete didn’t feel any pain
being somewhat of a masochist
thriving on attention from MJ
negative or positive,
it didn’t matter to him.
But M J felt the pain acutely
filled as she was with compassion and love
and realized that she
was much less the fierce Lioness
she had assumed or claimed herself to be
more the soft pussy cat
of a vulnerable needy Fluffkins
than she ever dared admit.
Bad Boy Pete
was not hurt himself
and he, loving M J with all his heart
determined
that in order not to hurt M J ever again
would rid himself of his black suit
revert to red and blue
just like Spectrum
his Mysteron powers
at Spectrum’s disposal
to broaden mankind’s security
not undermine it.
His pain for himself was negligible
but his pain for her
was in seeing M J upset and angry;
he would not disregard her wishes
ever again.
M J was upset
and told him to go sail a boat
to a far distant horizon.
Pete, wanting to do his love’s bidding
started to wonder
about “Sail Away, sail away, sail away” by Enya
but to where and in what?
His rowing boat perhaps,
his minimal “The Jack Sparrow”
that would definitely be a slow boat to China.
But in deference to his love
he started to make his plans
anyway.
 23:37, Sunday 22nd July 2007
 On his way home
Pete, in his Scarlet car
lost in thought about M J
failed to notice that the lights had changedf
rom Red to Green.
Maybe M J wasn’t upset with him
anymore
and wanted him back.
Maybe she didn’t require him after all
to prove himself
by going it all alone
up northor to China.
Maybe very soon
she would ring him
and make contact
and make real
what had been only virtual
for so long,
or maybe she wished to do so
but could not
and they would both have to wait
until other lights had turned green
before they would embrace
with such love
and joy
and release
as to make
the very Concourse on High
rapturous with delight
and celebration.

36) News Story: Lady Penelope has a little girl; “Parker?!!!!!” July 22, 2007

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4:53, Friday, 15th June 2007.

Kevin’s back ear, as opposed to Captain James Tiberius Kirk’s final front ear! Anyway, rumour has it that Lady P has a secret love child, and Parker is the Prime Suspect. That is the rumour, which has no substance in Real Truth. The Virtual, allegorical, analagous Truth is however that Lady P, Penny to her friends, has undergone a profound spiritual transformation, and has in effect undergone a regeneration of her personality and character as profound as that of William Hartnell regenerating as Patrick Throughton, and all the rest, like Christopher Eccleston morphing into that canny, dour Scot David Tennant. A tell-tale “sign” of this change is that Parker has, in carrying out the orders of her Lord and Master, traded in the Shocking Pink for a chameleon, so that the arch embarrassment of the Rolls-Royce Corporation, that futuristic Roller, has been replaced by “Hudson” sold by the Terrahawks Corporation for a handsome sum, and Hudson is not only full of the latest State of the Art AI technology that the 21st century can offer, it can change it’s colour to suit it’s environment, and in the Glorious Lesser Peace of the latter portion of the 21st, what more suited colour than Bright Sunshine Golden Yellow? in the Kabbalistic mysticism of Judaism, the Yellow of Glory, Spolendiur, Light or Baha, the supreme name of God. Back to Lady P’s little girl; a little like the demon of His Dark Materials, or the anima/animus concept of Karl Jung, Penny’s inner little girl, not her adapted or natural child of Tranactional Analysis, is in fact a newly born aspect of Penny herself, the birth of what in religious circles is sometimes called “The Spirit of Faith”. But this is not conventional congregational regiosity as defined by religion up to the 2oth, this is spirituality pure and unalloyed, not shorn of religious artifacts and trappings, but not hidebound and stulified by them either. This is religious and spiritual freedom not imprisoned by rules and regulation, the Letter of the Law, but freed by it. This is not a mere Code of Laws, but the “Choice Sealed Wine, unsealed by the Fingers of Might and Power”. And a metophorical wine as well, not a mere mundane beverage laced and spiked by alcohol, toxic to our human biological systems. This intoxicating metaphorical liquor is the Word of God, liberating in it’s effect, inebriating in it’s influence, ecstatic in the emotions, moods and impressions left on the screen of the soul’s perception of reality. So to Penny, we all give a hearty Congratulations of the birth of her new self, as yet a  very young infant in this new reality, but just taking the first baby steps on a long, straight, far-stretching and glorious path towards the Infinite. Parker, her faithful servant and friend is complete innocent, and as yet totally ignorant of what has just happened. This is Kevin Turvey of Redditch signing off; remember you heard it here first, and Kevin’s ear.

49) Draft: Poem: Morse regenerates as Rebus. July 22, 2007

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08:52, Sunday 22nd July 2007

Morse died of a heart attack
leaving a grieving
Lewis picking up the pieces
and Oxford carries on
much as before
a haven for authors
Lewis, Tolkien, Dexter and Pullman
but a new detective has been born
up north
though I know nothing about him
yet.
A new city
of Rebus and Rowling
and a host of others
as yet unknown
by me.
1972 and 1988 set the scene
now for more
as Lt Green communicates madly
with Lady P
and hopes to become
a top flight servant of Spectrum
like Captain Blue
and find an Angel
illuminating the world
with the Sunshine
of her golden yellow Sunshine light
maybe Lady P’s Roller
changing into Hudson
and becoming a chameleon-like motor
able to change from shocking Pink
into a ripe golden Yellow.
This is all Green’s Midsummer Night’s Dream
but Colonel White understands
the Reality of Captain Blue’s services to Spectrum
and cuts him some slack.
Summer’s almost gone
and where will we be?
asks Jim M
but a new year beckons
and new Doors open
and anything can happen
in the next half-decade.
Stand By For Action!
“Something”
left unsaid?
Has the last year finished
and ended?
No, it’s only just begun
as Virtual Dreams
along a “Long and Winding Road”
lead inexorably
towards a Real World.
Capic?
In my youth or childhood
I must have done something good?

48) Draft: Poem: Michael Valentine Smith watches TV. July 21, 2007

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16:55, Saturday 21st July 2007

Smith, son of Winston and Julia
who married
after surviving Big Brother
on account of their dreams
untouchable by Newspeak
and the rest of the “System”
which could not take life away
from their very souls
their being very soul-mates
who would be together Forever.
Smith grew up watching TV
on account of being denied by circumstances
a proper education
by Earthlings
who were themselves
unable to reach him
unable to make him connect
with the Real world
and he lived out his life
in his dreams
supplied by King Gerry
a TV mogul
who knew exactly what he
and millions of other kids
in the 1960s
wanted in their very souls.
“The Man with the Child in His Eyes” by Kate Bush
“Money” by Pink Floyd
“I Want You (She’s so Heavy) by The Beatles
“Rock and Roll Music” by The Beatles
“Cloudbusting” by Kate Bush
“The World is Not Enough” by Pierce Brosnan.
No one got through to him
until he met Nicola
and he, after an education by fiction
as if by The Mysterons of Mars
“grokked” that Nicola fulfilled a role for him
as if she was his “anima”
a personification of his own feminine side
she knew him, understood him after all
the first of 6
2 of whom would really hit the spot.
she complimented him
in the 6th form
on his ballroom dancing
and said that he had a big potential
she was the first who “knew” him
she was the first to (in Martian) to “grok” him
and he cherished her
though many would call it earthly lust.
No 6, under pressure from Doctor Exavier
herself a prisoner in the global village
also “grokked” him
years later
but he was still “Smith”
the Man from Mars
“The Man with the Child in his Eyes”
and couldn’t believe
that he really loved her
with all his heart
and would be happy to discorporate
if it helped her
in any way.
Then, “Money” didn’t seem to be an issue
though from an earthly point of view
Smith grokked that his earthly situation 
was causing concern
to some of the Earthlings
unfamiliar with Mysteron ways
and means.
“I Want You” Smith said to himself
as Number 6 tutored him
in ways to reconcile Earthly and Mysteron realities
“She’s So Heavy” many other Earthlings thought
who didn’t understand this delicate situation.
She knew the value
of “Rock and Roll Music” to Smith
to get him to stop thinking
and just hang out
and enjoy himself
and have a laugh
to stop trying to “grok” everything
and just LIVE.
She became upset with Smith
who insisted on remembering everything
and found it difficult to chill out
in this new alien environment.
She found dealing with him a real test
though intuiting that this was all going to work out
in the end
for the best
beyond her wildest dreams
She desparately wanted those clouds
which obscured the Sunshine
to be dissipated
as if by “Cloudbusting”
She wanted His love
the Love of the Manifestation
that Love which was common
to both Mysterons and Earthlings
to flood his heart
and take away his anguish
and enable her to reach him
fully,
and for the  Sun to come out
in both their hearts
and enable inetrplanetary unity
to take place between them.
She knew “the world” was simply “not enough”
after all,
there was a question here,
which world?
Here was a question for the Next Manifestation
in 850 years time
after all in 2007
there was no colony on the Moon
let alone Mars.
Smith had to learn to be strong
and live up to his name,
to use all the Mysteron training at his disposal
to adapt to earth’s ways
without upseting their sensitive need
for diplomacy, tact and being economical with the truth.
“Lucifer Sam” by Pink Floyd
“Licence to Kill” by Gladys Knight
“Bad Boy” by The Beatles
“She Loves You” by The Beatles
“Rocky Racoon” by The Beatles.
No 4 in teh village
knew the score
and came back from self-imposed exile
in Holyhead
to have some input in this situation.
She helped No 6
and shared her insights
into Smith’s peculiar, wierd nature.
After all,
she and Smith
had grokked each other
for a long 26 years
though for most of those
she stayed away from him
to protect him
from the condequences
of his and her own inability
to mind-meld
and create unity
between two very different
interplanetary cultures.
As a psychologist said at the time
“If the process is managed properly
it will work
but it cannot be rushed”
So No 4 was back, helping No6
and No5 was helping too
and was the brains
behind the whole strategy
of the training and education
of Smith since he and No 6 “grokked” each other
There was an issue of great moment
in all this
an issue only a few
of those on Earth
had as yet understood.
Jesus had intimated the truth
of this secret
and had paid the price.
To die to self
and be born again
in the spirit of the Creator
the Creator of the Cosmos and much more.
Nos 3 to 6 understood this to a tee,
but to Smith the truth dawned
painfully slowly
and adapting to the consequences
even more slowly
but things were moving along
and The Team
was successful in educating him
in Self-Mastery on Earth
through Self-Forgetfulness a la Mars
though many on Earth
SEEMED very intent
on sabotaging the whole thing.
No one had taught Smith
to defend himself, you see
against deceit, lies and dishonesty.
Smith learned of his new freedoms
his new powers
and was tempted to be a “Bad Boy”
to enjoy all the lascivious, hedonistic pleasures
open to him
and after all a Bad Boy
seemed to be very attractive
to these Earthling females
but he resisted any further infringements
of the rules and regulations
that his Mysteron education had taught him
and stuck to strict adherance to them
as if he was porridge on a blanket
as if the survival of everyone on Earth
depended on it.
Smith had fallen in love with No 6
and she was the 2nd to have this strong massive effect
and didn’t want to lose her
but he couldn’t believe his own intuition
that “She Loves You”
when all the Earthly “facts”
seemed to tell him otherwise
and his confusion was palpable.
He wanted to help her
but she couldn’t face him anymore
and told him to stay away
apparently interested in someone else
who seemed more savi with earth ways.
Like “Rocky Racoon” Smith was jealous
but tried to learn Mysteron detachment
and succeeded in giving way
with good grace
as the Frenchman in the 1953 musical
“An American in Paris”
who just quietly leaves
when teh leading lady turns to Gene Kelly.
Smith remained in love with Lily though, very deeply
as she read Nietsche’s “Beyond Good and Evil”
and realised more about the fact
that Mysterons and Earthings
are actually on the same side
and not opposed at all
that Red Flags and Black Flags
good and evil
integration and disintegration
Vishnu and Shiva
Ahura Mazda and Ahriman
maybe even God and the Devil
even Bond and Blofeld
are all actually on the same Team
and working together
and are complimentary.
How many Earthlings
are prepared to consider that?
“Happy Xmas (War is Over), Give Peace a Chance by John and Yoko
“Exploring the Tanker” in Fireball XL5
“I’ve Got a Feeling” by The Beatles
“Hyacinth House” by The Doors
“Day after Day” by The Pretenders
“Twist and Shout” by The Beatles.
Smith turned to his latest project
given tacit support by Dan his rival
with a friendly handshake
near the Round Table
and tried to get on with Earthly duties
using his Mysteron powers and training
and write a book to inspire world peace
he hoped to finish the first draft
ready for an editor who understood Mysteron
by Christmas, when he could say
“Happy Xmas, War is Over, Give peace a Chance”
Smith considered his situation
he had to write his book
“Writing is the cure for lonliness”
so Dr Exavier had said
and he had been an expert
on Mysteron trained mutants
surviving on Earth
and learning Earth diplomacy.
“Britain needs that book”
he’d said
donkey’s tears before.
Smith was going to wtite
with a vengeance
despite that nagging conviction
that “I’ve Got a Feeling”
creating an intensity of emotion
that would keep his tank full to overflowing
“Exploring the Tanker”
he was determined to maintain his supply
of all those fuels
that would keep him going
AVG, NLP, Vitamin C, Niacinamide, food supps
as well, of course, as food, aviation fuel (tap water)
up to 6 litres a day
and even some help from pharmaceutical multinationals
intent on peddling their wares through the NHS
and of course the most important fuel of all,
the Word of the Creator Himself
that sustained the spirit of all
Earthling and Mysteron alike.
Smith said to himself
as he listened to “Hyacinth House”
“I need a brand new friend”
and hoped it would be No 6
born anew after learning of the necessity
to die in Him
but he suspected he was going to find
that his Earthly manager
was going to have to be a No 7.
He would mourn No 6 for a very long time.
No 6 had been wonderful
and had had an even more massive impact
on his wierd life
than No 4
if that were possible.
“Day after Day”
soaring in the heights of a rarified atmosphere
of spiritual insights and knowledge
No 6 and Smith soared
in total exclusion from each other’s company
both wondering if they would ever meet again
wondering if they did
it would be just like starting over
and if they did
would they crash and burn
or live happily ever after.
They both hoped
that they could make it work
and end up celebrating
like nobody’s business
as in “Twist and Shout”
Let’s Rock and Roll!!!!!!

45) Poem: Dear Blofeld or Beyond Good and Evil by Nietsche July 20, 2007

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“Dear Blofeld or Beyond Good and Evil by Nietsche”
07:09, Friday 20th July 2007

38 = 1938
1938 = Munich
Munich = Chamberlain claiming peace in Croydon
Czechoslavakia = a far away country of which we know nothing
China?

2007 – 1969 = 38
20th July 1969
38 years ago
allegedly
Armstrong and Aldrin
the A Team
landed on the Moon
they’ll walk tomorrow

Anyway I digress!

A recurrant dream
but not mine
The Black Flags battle with the Red Flags
and no none gets hurt
and everyone turns verdant and green
and Green Flags result!
Is this a good outcome?

The Black Flag of Khurasan
is not in conflict
with the Crimson King
but on the contrary
does His bidding
is but a ring on His finger.

Darkness and destruction
(Shiva I hate you says Vishnu!)
is a necessary evil
to cleanse the steam bed
before the pure limpid water
can be led through.
The Bab’s Faith
was needed to cleanse Persia
before He could arrive.

A dream I had donkey’s years ago
which disturbed me
and made me feel
uncomfortable:-

I was at the Guardian’s Grave
amongst hundreds of Baha’is
all carrying an object
half carried a yellow petalled flower
like a daffodil
(was this a Red Flag?)
(was this the Curse of the Golden Flower?)
and half carried a black sub-machine gun
(was this a Black Flag)
and all were in total harmony and peace
unaware of there being a dichotomy
to me a False Dichotomy
perhaps the last False Dichotomy
to bite The Dust
what is The Dust?
Beats me!

Beyond Good and Evil
by Nietsche

The Black and the Red in total harmony
Captain Black supporting the Mysterons
Captain Scarlet understanding the Mysterons
but working for Spectrum
to build a better world
the terrifying prospect
that the two of them
could work
in total harmony
and co-operation?
Total Unity?
Can they understand each other?
Captain Scarlet is Unique
uniquely placed
as a Bridge too Far
as a mediator
a translator
to make Earthlings
and Martians
see eye to eye
for the first time in history.
Savi?
Capic?
Get my drift?

Whoso would discover this secret will assuredly hide it
and were he to reveal but it’s faintest trace
they would nail him to the cross

Have I been BAD to speak out
to mention the unmentionable
Do Bad boys get spanked?
as Chrissie Hynde sings
for the Pretenders?

Are Blofeld and Bond
really at loggerheads?
the B Team?
Are the Mysterons and Spectrum
really in a fight to the death?
Do dogs really want to kill cats
Do cats really want to kill mice
Or do they just want to play
and have some fun
and the Other
fearing the unknown
gets to be a scaredy cat?
as timid as a mouse
or just a stupid dog?

False Dichotomies
fall away
to reveal Unity
in all it’s Glory
Black uniting with Red
Produces Green?
True submission to the Will of God
True Love of God
The Emotions of the Kingdom
which
when they become ripe for the plucking
produce a Glorious Mellow Yellow
a Glorious, dazzling Golden Age
of a Baha’i Civilization
in His good time
but it’s up to us
how soon
we see its realisation.
Get to it, people
Get on with it!
There’s no time to lose
No time left for vacillation.
What are tou waiting for?
Just do it!

44) Draft: Poem: Mellow Yellow July 20, 2007

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23:58, Thursday 19th July 2007

Dr Frank Poole is resting in peace
in his yellow suit
in the depths of interplanetary space
somewhere
‘tween the asteroids
and that future Jovian superstar
another thousand years to go
floating
cold and icy
starved of Oxygen
asleep and at rest in peace
in a dreamless sleep,
but what of his soul?

Yellow for cowardice
for Glory and sacrifice
for the warmth of Sunshine
and the Manifestation of God,
for the ripeness
that follows the unripeness
of Green.
for “Gelb” getting ready to…
Go man Go
when soon
Der Verkehrsampel ist Grun!
or does Amber prefigure
the Red?
Yellow is Amber
that enables us to see The Dust!
and what is The Dust?
Beats me!

As Lambert in the Vault of England
working at being a clerk
beyond the call of duty
As Poole with Air line cut
by the Shallow Halsian logic that
only sees the “real” surface
and needs proof
of the 9 tenths
below the surface,
my flat has no Air-
no ventilation
with all windows
locked and battened down
for what?
and only recently
had Light
re-lit
after the fuses had blown
again.

Light and fire
Sunshine and inspiration
is back
but there is no Air at home
no intellect
no sociability
but I am happy
with Water a plenty
and Fire a plenty
my soul fueled
by Angels of Fire and Snow
with no rhyme or reason
and definitely no earthly realism
no treading my path
with practical feet
until I find my mate
my “manager”-
any takers?
amongst those
who fit my profile?
metrosexual superstars
Jovial gas giants
under pressure
to die
and reignite
when born a new
to light up the night sky?

Emotion 26
Inspiration 18
Intellect and sociability 5
Practicality 0
You see my dilemma?

I need a practical manager
Earthed and Real
with reason and logic
to fill in my glaring gaps.
Someone who can appreciate
and do business
with my emotional over-reactions
with my over-dependence on inspiration
at the expense of logic and realism.

But if Yellow prefigures Red,
what then?
If the unprofessional emotional over-reaction
of Frank in Yellow
metamorphs
into the professional dispassionate analysis
of David Bowman
and the sacrifice of Yellow
rises from the ashes
of the blackness
of empty space
the Golden Metallic Red Phoenix rises
majestic and victorious.
The asphixiation of Oxygen starvation
gives way to a metaporical death
hung out to dry
in space
without a space helmet
drawn out
in a long journey through a star gate
of psychadelic incomprehensability
and finally quartered
in quarters equally alien
with alien whispers behind every polystyrene panel
and equally 4 star
under house arrest
incommunicado
until this yellow fruit
turned bright red
is ripe for the picking
by the Monolith
for the chosen destiny
of a new life overseeing Earth
and rescuing it
from a fate worse than death.
Death for David Bowman
was a messenger of Joy
and he was re-born
and prefigured
a new birth
a little later
of a gas giant
into a new brilliant star.

Frank is mellow
Dave is too.
and the Monolith oversees all
silent
omniscient
all-powerful
all-knowing
full of grace
full of peace
full of life
even for Europe/Europa!
and for the whole Earth
even in it’s Night

The Light shineth in Darkness!
just as Pia said it would!