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752) Published: Poem: All change…May 2006 March 27, 2009

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20:24, Friday, 27th March 2009 CE

Ground Zero,
when medicine was at an all time low,
and everything still seemed possible.
This was October 2006,
just 6 months after “all change”
when I fell in love with her
and I was given a new manager at work,
and I started on Aloe Vera Gel,
and Dad caught cancer.
Nothing has been the same since.
6 months after I fell in love with her,
and after she had said “no”,
my feelings for her were suppressed,
but “ground zero”
when medication was at an all time low,
presaged Buddhist Mindfulness training
which started in January 2007,
neeuro-lingustic programming
which started in February 2007
February 2007, The Year of The Pig,
when all heaven broken loose
or was it hell?
When I wrote “From Ireland with Love”
and Mahvash said, “why don’t you pursue her?”
as she rushed past carrying luggage to her rented car,
when I put my name down for China,
and a whole strings of events was triggered
that eventually left me “out of control”
and “on my way ‘ome”
like some demented manic depressive robot.
May 2006, October 2006 and February 2007,
and by April 2008
all was lost, a disaster;
and now March 2009
this really IS Ground Zero.
“Things can only get better”

751) Published: Poem: In the Ascendant March 27, 2009

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16:50, Friday, 27th March 2009 CE

My sister Christine and I
were pouring over family documents
the other evening
and I found that I was born at 8:32pm
not 7:20 at previously thought,
so my Ascendant may not be Cancer after all;
maybe even my Moon sign is different
from Sagittarius, as previous thought.

750) Published: Poem: Mum’s much better March 26, 2009

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18:54, Thursday, 26th March 2009 CE

Mum, 84
has been very ill of late
after a stroke in about 2000
and more recently
a tooth infection
caused her hospitalisation
and C Dificile was contracted
when the antibiotics
to deal with the tooth infection
wiped out all her bacteria
EXCEPT C Dificile,
but prompt action SEEMS
to have C Dificile on the run
and mum is getting back to normal,
but at 84 still frail at the ebst of times
so we three siblings
have decided that the ground floor
of “the family seat”
should be converted so that mum
needn’t try using the stairs again.
We 3 seem to be getting on better these days
“necessity is the mother of invention”

749) Published: Poem: Love Famine: March 25, 2009

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21:15, Wednesday, 25th March 2009 CE

749) Love Famine
.
Knowledge and Understanding through Consultation
Grieving and Anger to process the emotions hidden and buried
Reconciliation, Reunion and Resolution
Peace, Justice and Love
.
inspired by “Famine” by Sinead O’Connor

748) Published: Poem: Who is Baha’u’llah? March 25, 2009

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13:45, Wednesday, 25th March 2009 CE

To Israel He was neither more nor less than the incarnation of the “Everlasting Father,” the “Lord of Hosts” come down “with ten thousands of saints”; to Christendom Christ returned “in the glory of the Father,” to Shí’ah Islam the return of the Imam Husayn; to Sunni Islam the descent of the “Spirit of God” (Jesus Christ); to the Zoroastrians the promised Shah-Bahram; to the Hindus the reincarnation of Krishna; to the Buddhists the fifth Buddha.
(Shoghi Effendi, God Passes By, p. 93)

And it is this Being, this Personage,
Baha’u’llah, Mirza Husayn Ali i Nuri, 1817 to 1892,
Who is the Central Figure
of The Baha’i Faith,
together with His twin Manifestation, The Bab
His Forerunner,
and His eldest Son, ‘Abdu’l-Baha,
His Interpreter and Successor.
So the whole edifice
of the Baha’i Faith
ultimately rests on the Station of Baha’u’llah.
.
34 years of my experience of The Faith
says “it is good”
and Jesus said “ye shall know them by their fruits”
and a barren tree bears no fruit
and a good tree does bear good fruit.
.

He Who in such dramatic circumstances was made to sustain the overpowering weight of so glorious a Mission was none other than the One Whom posterity will acclaim, and Whom innumerable followers already recognize, as the Judge, the Lawgiver and Redeemer of all mankind, as the Organizer of the entire planet, as the Unifier of the children of men, as the Inaugurator of the long-awaited millennium, as the Originator of a new “Universal Cycle,” as the Establisher of the Most Great Peace, as the Fountain of the Most Great Justice, as the Proclaimer of the coming of age of the entire human race, as the Creator of a new World Order, and as the Inspirer and Founder of a world civilization.    (Shoghi Effendi, God Passes By, p. 93)

747) Published: Poem: Ground Zero, October 2006 March 25, 2009

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12:57, Wednesday 25th March 2009 CE

747) Ground Zero, October 2006
.
I’d already reduced my dosage considerably
over the past few years,
and by 2006 was on Epilim Chrono, Risperadone and Fluoxetine.
In May 2006, a friend introduced me to Aloe Vera Gel
from Forever Living Products
and this, together with falling in love at the same time
had a very salutary effect on my health.
Later that year, my consultant, Professor John Geddes
suggested combining the 3 drugs into one
in the guise of Seroquel (Quetiapine)
which had a much less destabilising effect than the 3 including Fluoxetine.
However the Seroquel was VERY sedating
and prevented me from working
so I unilaterally stopped taking anything for one week
before my next appointment
when in October, my consultant said,
“I have no problem with you no longer taking regular medication.”
If I hadn’t been in love with a beautiful woman
who said no overtly
but SEEMED to be in two minds, sizing me up
with her non-verbal behaviour
creating in me an excitment, anticipation and uncertainty
that destroyed my new found health
despite several other interventions in the next year or so,
namely megavitamin therapy, Buddhist Mindfulness training
and neuro-lingustic programming.
I struggled on as best I could in the circumstances
acquiring along the way
by virtue of becoming increasingly ill,
a pride and determination in not taking ANY medication,
in insisting in pressing my case with her
with disastrous results
and eventually needed hospitalisation
from April to June 2008
and medication in the form of Abilify (Aripiprazol)
which I am still on
with the dosage of 5 mgs daily
soon to go down to 2.5
.
If only I had had the benefit
of understanding more of the vagaries of courtship
earlier than the Conscious Courtship seminar this January
and understood why the uncertainty, the sizing up, the inveterate testing
is an integral part of the process
and “cannot be bucked” at any cost.
.
My heart is the same as it has been since May 2006
and will remain so for years to come
and will wait
in case she comes back.

746) Published: Poem: Argentina March 24, 2009

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23:02, Tuesday, 24th March 2009 CE

746) Argentina
.
From Elaine Paige
singing Andrew Lloyd-Webber
to my beloved Sinead O’Connor
to Jane Zhang,
this song inspires my heart to love
like no other;
.
It won’t come easy
you’ll think it strange
when I try to explain how I feel
that I still need your love
after all that I’ve done
You won’t believe me
All you will see is a girl
you once knew
although she’s dressed up
to the nines
at sixes and sevens with you
.
I had to let it happen
I had to change
couldn’t stay all my life
down at heel
looking out of the window
staying out of the sun
so I chose freedom
running around
trying anything new
but nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to.
.
Don’t cry for me Aregentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
my mad existence
I kept my promise
don’t keep your distance
.
And as for fortune
and as for fame
I never invited them in
though it seemed to the world
they were all I desired.
They are illusions
They are not the solutions
they promised to be.
The answer was there all the time.
I love you and hope you love me.
.
Have I said too much?
There’s nothing more
I can think of to say to you
But all you have to do
is look at me
to know that every word is true.

745) Published: Poem: A return with strings March 24, 2009

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18:40, Tuesday, 24th March 2009 CE

745) A return with strings
.
Even with psychotropic drugs
the physician hath no cure
for one sick of love
lest the favour of the beloved one deliver him
and all rational cries for deatchment
fall of deaf ears
and a heart prone to evil
when confronted by an attachment such as this;
an attachment reminiscent of a bone in the mouth
of a British Bulldog, a Staffordshire Bull Terrier
or some other wild, reclacitrant, rabid pitbull;
no logic or reason can appeal to me
when in this insane state of “human-worship”;
but God willing all will be well in time
and this accursed separation will end
“when the time is right”
and when the mad passion that always wins
has subsided somewhat
prayer to the ever-living God
will re-assert its rightful place
in the daily routine
of this incurable romantic fool.

744) Published: Poem: Aqua Marina’s Pout March 24, 2009

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16:55, Tuesday, 24th March 2009 CE

744) Aqua Marina’s Pout
.
Fanderson lore has it
that Troy Tempest’s Aqua Marina
was based on Briggitte Bardot
pout an all!
Aqua Marina, a mermaid from Pacifica
an undersea city
was mute
and helped Troy and his communications officer, Phones
by sign language and her undersea intuition
helped by her pet seal, Oink.
I could go on and on about Aqua Marina’s beauty
but words will not suffice.

743) Published: Poem: Lost Opportunities March 22, 2009

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18:46, Monday, 23rd March 2009 CE

743) Lost Opportunities
.
They told me it was nothing to do with The Faith itself
purely a personal matter between me and her
so all the signs of careful planning
to restore my health
and set my career on a reasonable footing
must have been all her own work
and nothing to do with The Institutions
though she told someone else
that she discussed me with no one but The Institutions.
So a dream ticket marriage was the goal
in my heart
and the uncertainty
of not knowing whether she was interested or not
set me into a flat spin
that ended up in two months
of damned hospitalisation
and the instruction,
“Do not contact me again”
All is lost
and only despair remains,
lacking both the means and opportunity
to end it all
though NOT the motivation.