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891) Published: Poem: Quo Vadis? June 28, 2009

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Typed and written 19:48, Sunday, 28th June 2009 CE
891) Quo Vadis?
Where am I going?
I don’t know, I’m following my nose
following my heart, my intuition
and seeking to understand The Christian Faith
in order to understand The Baha’i Faith;
there are many basic spiritual issues
I need to comprehend
in order to viable as a Baha’i,
and The Community isn’t helping me to do so
so I need to find these answers elsewhere;
perhaps I’ll read The New Testament
just as ‘Abdu’l-Baha
when teaching The Baha’i Faith
would start by helping the person
understand his own ancestral Faith first.

890) Published: Poem: The Swingometer June 28, 2009

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Typed and written 16:13, Sunday, 28th June 2009 CE
890) The Swingometer
Like a confounded pendulum
my mood component
swings like a pendulum do
and gives credence
to the name of the regular magazine
of The Manic Depressive Fellowship,
and I AM rather HIGH
slightly hypomanic
but not yet, I hasten to add
but perhaps I could do with calling a halt
to unbridled “creativity”
which “when taken to excess”
“ceases to exercise a beneficial influence”
and TRY to relax;
howabout some NOT so creative
NOT so active
NOT so hypomanic
couch-potato vegging out lieing on my bed
gazing passively at Virgin 1
and Captain Kathryn Janeway’s “Voyager”;
as the Queen Mother had written above her desk,
“Do it NOW!”

883) Published: Poem: High Hopes June 28, 2009

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Typed and written 05:03, Sunday, 28th June 2009 CE
883) High Hopes
1968’s “2001: A Space Odyssey”
was full of high hopes
as was I after listening to the vision
of Bobby Kennedy’s presidential election campaign speeches,
but only after 40 years in the bewilderness
has Barack Obama rekindled such hopes
in the hearts of the masses of world citizens
though from age 13 to 53,
I have become so cynical
that this time around
I have no hopes in such wishful idealism;
any high hopes
that I have entertained over the years
have been dashed:-
a university degree,
marriage to a woman I loved
and all the rest;
and all that remains
is an abiding belief
that The Baha’i Faith is true
albeit, my continued participation in it
seems to have come to an end
or at least a possibly lengthy suspension;
but at least my belief is intact
though faith and trust in it
as regards my own life,
gone with the wind;
but then, tomorrow IS another day.

880) Published: AspieVillage: First Post passed June 27, 2009

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Typed and written 23:44, Saturday, 27th June 2009 CE
880) First Post passed (submitted to http://www.aspievillage.com Chat Room)
Hello All,
I registered a while ago, but have only now got around to leaving a message, after getting an automatic e-mail saying that registration acknowledgement e-mails may have gone missing; I don’t remember getting one.
I’ve eaten healthily today, ignoring a craving for Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes with ice cold full fat cow’s milk, and instead had liberal helpings of boiled potatoes, lentils and mung beans, all spiced up with mango chutney and spices and herbs, such as sage, rosemary and cinnamon. Yummy!
I’ve also been listening, over the last 3 days, to all my 22 Pink Floyd LPs on my laptop windows media player, in chronological order; only 3 LPs to go, then it’ll be all my King Crimson LPs.
Watched “Have I got news for you” and “Comedy Roadshow” earlier, though found that only Abu Nidal? and Sean Locke made me laugh out loud.
To quote Pink Floyd, “Is there anybody out there?”!!!!!
best wishes to all you fellow aspies,

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879) Published: Poem: Peace of Mind June 27, 2009

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Typed and written 23:06, Saturday, 27th June 2009 CE
879) Peace of Mind
Mind Centres:-
Bicester on Monday and Kidlington on Wednesday
maybe Oxford on Tuesday
where fellow psychologically and socially challenged inadequates
can compare notes
and confer with “professional experts”,
Mind volunteers,
and deal with issues as they arise
when “the blog” cannot resolve;
and limiting all social interaction with The Community
to my orthomolecular practitioner
and a few on The Net,
to avoid further wind-ups
from facetiousness, innuendo and condescension:-
THIS is teh way forward at the moment
and is so far paying dividends
in a renewed peace of mind
and tranquillity of spirit
DESPITE having NO more reading of The Writings;
just Mind Centres, healthy food, vitamins, exercise and entertainment
in the form of music and TV;
no need of divine instruction at the moment,
just peace and quiet
to recuperate and regroup
after coming to terms with the grief
of relinquishing any vestige of hope
of being in The Community
by your side
and deciding that I’d rather be outside The Community
than within it without you.

878) Published: Poem: Ostracism June 27, 2009

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Typed and written 21:05, Saturday, 27th June 2009 CE
878) Ostracism
I must admit
that my rights as a Baha’i
are being honoured
by The Community
in a narrow sense;
but there is no more fellowship
no more discussion
as if my mind is poisoned
by ego and dangerous ideas
from which The Community
must be protected;
and to get me to jump
dark surrepticious, facetious innuendoes
are delivered
to make sure
in no uncertain terms
that I am persona non grata
and no longer welcome,
but so surrepticious
as to profer no empirical proof
so no accusation leveled against The Community
could ever be made to stick.

877) Published: Poem: Quarantine June 27, 2009

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Typed and written 17:10, Saturday, 27th June 2009 CE
877) Quarantine
I was warned last summer
by Pete
that for me, you’re in quarantine
lest your influence
winds me up to hights
of delusion and illusion
leading my wishful wistful romantic heart
up the garden path for the umpteenth time,
but I find that it’s not only you
that need to be in quarantine
but most people who know me well
and so, in splendid isolation
as a “voice” in my imagination
whilst in hospital a year ago
whispered, “Pete’s in quarantine”
I exist in my non-Baha’i cacoon
entertained by Apollo and sci-fi,
documentaries about China and Iran,
my only company
my orthomolecular practitioner
and you, dear readers,
as, in quarantine, I regain my strength,
composure, self-assurance, balance,
and further heights of mental health;
pity my spirit is being neglected,
but maybe THAT’S a feature of “quarantine”.

876) Published: Poem: Why I believe God exists June 26, 2009

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Typed and written 00:26, Saturday, 27th June 2009 CE
876) Why I believe God exists
The night sky in winter
screams volumes
and ever since then
at a tender age
the existence of God
has always been a given;
then there is “2001: A Space Odyssey”
which gives a compelling vision
of the progress of mankind
the beauty of the cosmos
the drama of history
and the romance of exploring space
and the mysterious relationship
between the progress of man
and the unknown;
then there are the psychic musings
of Scientology
and the ability of the soul or thetan
to astral travel and experience reality
independent of the senses
thereby proving the reality of spirit;
and then there are the buildings on The Arc
designed with the same grandeur
as the night sky in winter
and eloquent testimony
of the authority
of His Kingdom on Planet Earth
for the next half a million years;
only a divine being could be responsible for the creation
of such wonders
so far above the capacity
of mere mortal mammalian bipeds
intent as they are
on mere physical survival
and NOT responsible
for the very existence of The Creation.

875) Published: Poem: I’m Bad June 26, 2009

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Typed and written 21:48, Friday, 26th June 2009 CE
875) I’m Bad
I’m bad, very, very bad
to quote Paul Whitehouse
in The Fast Show
writing my own spiritual death warrant;
intent on spiritual death
and the impending oblivion
of a soul that will perish at death
looking forward to a cessation
of a meaningless existence;
a few more years of unbridled materialism and hedonism
cut short by the wrath
of The Grim Reaper
when the time is right;
at least THAT
is something to look forward to.

873) Published: Poem: Love or Life, Romance or Sanity; choose June 25, 2009

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Typed and written 00:20, Friday, 26th June 2009 CE
873) Love or Life, Romance or Sanity; choose.
When  the consequences of falling in love
threaten survival or sanity,
love has to be sacrificed
since without life and sanity
there can be no love anyway;
so when an all-consuming love
proves a threat to life and limb
it has to go, grudgingly;
in a hierarchy of needs,
sanity first
then survival
then love
and in a conflict of interests
the first two take priority
and if love will not die
then distance from it becomes essential
and in this case
distance from all remembrance
from The Community
from Divinity and The Writings
from The Institutions
from Love itself,
to live a new life
of materialism, money
managing the mundane of existence,
all this becomes the focus
until death arrives unbidden
and since without divine love
every soul will stray and perish
that longed for oblivion of non-existence
the opposite of eternal life
is there to look forward to
when all the pain of love hunger
will cease, with everything else.