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936) Published: Dream: Coercion July 30, 2009

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Typed and written 10:51, Thursday, 30th July 2009 CE
936) Coercion
I dreamed I had an interview with a shrink, in hospital. He seemed very laid back, friendly and amenable, but when I asked him if he’d section me if I refused to take more than an eighth of a 5 mg tablet of Abilify daily, he said, “Yes”. By this stage of the interview, we’d started going on a walk,  outside the hospital, into a sunnily-lit town square. Then I found that I was being led through a tunnel to a train station, and signs pointing to Scotland. Was I being kidnapped by the NHS to have my freedom irrevobably taken away, or taken to safety and freedom from the NHS? To be continued….

935) Published: Poem: MIND How You Go July 29, 2009

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Typed and written 10:02, Wednesday, 29th July 2009 CE
935) MIND How You Go
Maybe it’s laziness
but today, I’m avoiding chores and jobs
at least from about 13:00 to 15:00
in order to socialise
and be with people
at the Kidlington MIND Kaleidoscope Centre
as bidden by my medical advisors;
it’s pleasant enough
and relaxing
to hang out with people
who are relatively strait-forward
and don’t indulge much
in “game-playing”,
it passes time
and might even help
towards being allowed to enjoy CAT
in the fullness of time,
Cognitive Analytical Therapy
to help me access long forgotten memories and issues
of the earliest years
and learn how to change the course
of my future.
Had a good chat at MIND
and played a part
in making welcome
a newcomer, Rosie;
then I left early
to accept an invite from Hilary
to watch a DVD, “Doubt”
starring Meryl Streep and a famous actor
with the surname Hoffman
as Catholics, a sister and a father
who are locked in mortal but psychological combat
over her suspicions but no real proof
that he is a paedophile
though she SEEMS to extort
a sort of confession from at the end
through lieing through her teeth;
she has the moral high ground
he has the love, compassion and spirit
and seems to get hammered
for past misbehaviour
that others will not let alone and forget;
a very unsatisfactory film
much like real life.
Now at 18:52, nothing left of this grey and wet day
but sleeping, TV and The Net
but no real promise.

934) Published: Non-Me Source: Punny Jokes July 29, 2009

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Posted 01:43, Wednesday, 29th July 2009 CE
934) Punny Jokes

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker,
but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. Police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. A man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts.
In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

23. Cannibals ate a missionary, thus got a taste of religion.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

933) Published: Poem: Hello, Beautiful! July 28, 2009

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Typed and written 00:38, Wednesday, 29th July 2009 CE
933) Hello, Beautiful!
“40. O SON OF MAN!
Wert thou to speed through the immensity of space and traverse the expanse of heaven, yet thou wouldst find no rest save in submission to Our command and humbleness before Our Face.”
(Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)
At the beginning of her “Unity Gathering” tonight
Mahsa played Payam singing “Immensity of Space”,
it’s beautiful music
with beautiful lyrics,
and my imagination turned yet again
to that image burned on the memory of my mind,
the huge disc of the Red Planet, Mars
as the astronauts of the movie, “Mission to Mars”
emerge from their crippled spacecraft
whilst in Mars orbit
and Tim Robbins, or was it Gary Sinise
exclaims, “Hello, Beautiful”
as the magnificent desolation of the orange, rusty desert of Mars
shows the majestic beauty and grandeur of Mars
and the heart of the astronaut responds;
this majestic beauty
is to me the sine qua non
of God’s beauty in Nature
and the above verse from Baha’u’llah
is to me very apposite
in reminding me
that, in the words of David Bowman
in “2010: The Year We Make Contact”,
“All these worlds are yours,
except Europa;
attempt no landings there”
as if God is saying to man,
“Mars is for Man to explore,
go there in peace, by all means
but remember that this, like Earth, is MINE
and you are allowed here, as on Earth, as My servant,
submit to My Command
be humble before my Grandeur
be happy, in Service to Me
on Mars, as on Earth;
presumably, although jumping the gun shamelessly
I would submit
that any of mankind
who would venture to explore, colonise or terraform Mars
would do well
to turn in obedience and trust
to that Centre on Earth
of God’s Kingdom, The Universal House of Justice
to consult
about the relationship
between Martian colonists and explorers
and the Mouthpiece of God to Mankind
that the spiritual life of Martians
should from the very beginning
be in accord
with God’s Will, God’s Spirit, God’s Love
and that Martian, Terran relations
should continue in harmony, co-operation and consultation
so that the Next Manifestation after 2852 AD
will find a blissful humanity
living in unity and peace
on 3 or 4 worlds,
Earth, Moon, Mars and perhaps a newly terraformed Venus,
or is my vision clouded, seen through a glass darkly
and grievously flawed
by ignorance of what God’s real Will for the future of Man actually holds?

928) Draft: Dream: Go Man Go July 26, 2009

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20090726 928 Dream Go Man Go
Typed and written 11:56, Sunday, 26th July 2009 CE
928) Go Man Go
Dreamed I got a text message from Sarah telling me to waste no time in setting up my university career in China.

925) Published: Poem: What’s wrong with me? July 25, 2009

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Typed and written 07:06, Saturday, 25th July 2009 CE
925) What’s wrong with me?
After reading The Writings
this perennial navel-gazing
resulting from a feeling
that there is something basic in me
that is wildly NOT right
fills me with disquiet yet again;
could it be that this is simply a feeling of unworthiness
a conviction that I fall so far short of the Baha’i ideal
that I am hardly fit to call myself a Baha’i in the first place?
If so, then I know from The Writings
that this feeling is to be expected
and that with faith, I can rest assured
that all my failings can and will be compensated for amply by Providence
if only I arise to play my part;
Is this enough?
Also, that to be aware and conscious of my faults
is to be on the way to conquering self and ego
the bete noir of The Writings of The Baha’i Faith
is this gives an assurance that I am right with The Covenant;
that introspection leads to despair
and that IF I take my sight away from my self
to serve others selflessly
then I will BEGIN to have mastery over self
through forgetting about the cravings and insistence of self.
Also, He says do all you can to become weary of self
and this self and it’s self-absorption and self-centredness
I am heartily sick of
and am filled with longing
to be like other Baha’is
when I read their words
of being actively and energetically engaged
in the needs and exigencies of the hour
and SEEM to have no trouble with self and ego whatsoever;
also the prohibition by Him
on confession of sins to other human beings
seems to cause Baha’is who are well-versed in The Faith
to be very private about their faults
and personal lives
as if they turn to God every evening
and bring themselves to account before Him
and therefore have no cause
to discuss such issues with anyone else;
such stoicism and strength of character
I find at once admirable, baffling and unattainable
but maybe with practice
it is possible to live more in accordance
with His Teachings
and turn to Him alone
when dealing with these personal and psychological issues
like fully mature adult human beings.

“Be fair in thy judgment, and guarded in thy speech.”
(Baha’u’llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 285)

“The essence of true safety is to observe silence, to look at the end of things and to renounce the world.”
(Baha’u’llah, Tablets of Baha’u’llah, p. 156)

“That seeker must, at all times, put his trust in God, must renounce the peoples of the earth, must detach himself from the world of dust, and cleave unto Him Who is the Lord of Lords. He must never seek to exalt himself above any one, must wash away from the tablet of his heart every trace of pride and vain-glory, must cling unto patience and resignation, observe silence and refrain from idle talk. For the tongue is a smoldering fire, and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumeth the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endureth a century.”
(Baha’u’llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 264)

924) Published: Poem: Divine Instruction July 24, 2009

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Typed and written 00:16, Saturday, 25th July 2009 CE
924) Divine Instruction
Today, after seeing Paul Gillett
and doing some shopping
I popped in on Wolvercote Cemetery
to seek inspiration
at the resting place
of David and Marion
and asked, “What should I do next?”
and the answer I felt was
“Look up at the stars”
and in the sky, fluffy cumulus clouds
showed the majesty and beauty
of His Creation
and reminded me of my primary source
in Creation
of inspiration in perceiving Him
by The Stars in The Heavens
also betokens The Heaven of spiritual food
as opposed to mere earthly knowledge
and has renewed in me
my intention to read The Writings morn and eve
recite the Obligatory prayers
and “Allah’u’Abha” 95 times a day.

923) Published: Poem: Socialising and Teaching and Training July 24, 2009

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Typed and written 19:45, Friday, 24th July 2009 CE
923) Socialising and Teaching and Training
A day out, shopping, swimming and teaching
the other day, Thursday, so yesterday
produced 4 interactions with strangers
a Christian evangelist
at his stall in Cornmarket Street
with whom I discussed religion
from the understanding that 3 Revelations
have appeared since the time of Christ
in Muhammad, The Bab and Baha’u’llah,
and the interpretation of The Book of Revelations
to explain the tragedy
of the History of Islam
from the year 661 AD onwards
to the particular redemption, forgiveness and grace
available to mankind by turning to Jesus
and the possibility
that such theological truths
ALSO lid hidden and veiled
in The Baha’i Writings
amidst the calls for human brotherhood and world peace;
encountering an old friend
also a friend on Facebook
and meeting two of his friends
also in Cornmarket Street
and chatting about diet
and of him trying to give up alcohol and nicotine
and me trying to give up Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes,
dairy products and refined carbs,
meeting whilst swimming
a lady who was there with her grandchildren
and introducing to her The Baha’i Faith
with it’s emphasis on unity, peace and brotherhood
between ALL mankind
and swapping phone numbers
to continue later?
And finally on attending The Half Moon
for a tomato juice
to kill time before Clare’s party
met a lady who was very academic,
well-travelled, and well-versed in Chinese,
but apparently at the mercy of the social ills
that can torment the “poor” of Oxford;
and Training!
I am the one being trained
but by who?
The Community have apparently relegated me
to the wide expanse of The Serengeti
my task to hunt, attack and strangle a lion
with no help but my own hands
BEFORE I can enjoy my barmitzvah,
and be considered a fully-fledged human being;
what do WOMEN have to go through?
so while I’m isolated and alone
in The Bush
struggling to gain mastery over my own self
fighting a life and death struggle with the lion of my own ego,
The Community look on
wondering if I’ll EVER come through.

922) Published: Poem: Pete Rose, the Junior Youth years July 24, 2009

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Typed and written 19:32, Friday, 24th July 2009 CE
922) Pete Rose, the Junior Youth years
1966 to 1970
and Pete Rose
recoiling from the violence of The Earth
the killing of Kennedys and Viet Cong
the disenfranchisement of Ulster Catholics
the continuing emotional strait-jacket
of the English middle-class boarding school system
sent me looking to the stars for solace
and what a view NASA provided!
The idealism of leaving The Earth behind
to aim at being The First on Mars in 1986
of all the myriad images
of the romanticism, drama and adventure of space
was a massive formative influence
on a boy aged 11 to 14;
but on the ground,
nothing happened;
I formed a “theoretical” identity of self
which bore no relation
to the rest of humanity
and as for finding a role
in which to serve humanity
through the rest of my life
nothing was further from my mind
since I was “escaping” from reality
and had been since the age of 3
and still find “reality” totally unacceptable.
So my Junior Youth years
were a veritable mixed bag
of idealism, which led me to Baha’u’llah in 1974
and escapism, which despite becoming a Baha’i
remained the order of the day
for many years to come,
finding that elusive “mother substitute”
a psychological cause of psychosis and hospitalisation
4 times, in 1976, 1993 1997 and 2008;

921) Published: Poem: English Virtue? July 24, 2009

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Typed and written 13:11, Friday, 24th July 2009 CE
921) English Virtue
“The English lose every battle
except the last one”
“The English are slow to catch on to a new idea
but when they do
no force on earth can stop them”
There is a dogged determined bulldog spirit
to The English
which causes them
once they have grasped a certain vision
or committed themselves
to a certain moral crusade
to stop at nothing
in it’s execution and realisation,
such as The Quaker’s crusade against Slavery
or Churchill’s determination
that The English would fight to the last
against The Nazis
in order NOT to be slaves
“Rule Britannia
Britannia rules the waves,
Britons never never never
will be slaves”
but Britain’s track record
in according the same rights
that it aspires to enjoy itself
to others
is by no means perfect or even exemplary;
to the pragmatism of The English,
it’s a “dog eat dog” world
where British self interest
outtrumps that of other nations hands down
and the only moral rule of asserting this
is that there are no rules;
and the hypocrasy of hiding behind a “moral crusade”
“the white man’s burden”
is just that,
as ‘Abdu’l-Baha says in “Secret of Divine Civilization”
“Western Civilization has no moral foundation”
and when asked what he thought of Western Civilization
Gandhi said he thought it would be a good idea!
It seems to me that the secret of all this
is Integrity and Honesty;
IF an Englishman can look at himself
warts and all
and admit the truth
and be brutally honest about his own faults
and that of his way of life
THEN there is hope
that the right way can be found
to go forward
and BEGIN to build a better life
BUT if not,
then his life is just a vicious lie.