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1127) Published: Status Update: Laughter, the Best Medicine January 28, 2010

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Typed and written 23:03, Thursday, 28th January 2010 CE
1127) Laughter, the Best Medicine

Charlie Brooker in episode 2 of “Newswipe” had me in stitches again; he’s a comic genius, with his finger definitely on the pulse on the stupidity of what the mainstream media laughably call “the news”.


1126) Draft: Status Update: Stands With a Fist January 22, 2010

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Typed and written 15:25, Thursday, 28th January 2010 CE
1126) Stands With a Fist

As with the Mary Collins character in “Dances with Wolves”, “Stands with a Fist”, I feel in a state of conflict with those around me, particularly those in authority. This feeling of being defiant, defensive, and ready to aggressively fight those who are perceived to be hostile to me, is in part a throw-back to my childhood, when, under the guise of peaceful compliance, and being happy to watch TV, there was, nevertheless, under the surface an attitude of defiant, stubborn resistance and refusal to engage with or trust those around me. With this veneer of compliance gone, the defiant stand to protect myself at all costs has surfaced, creating conflict with those who would seek to mold my behaviour and thought to what they consider appropriate and normal. This perception that my identity, individuality, freedom and rights are threatened is partly justified, and partly exaggerated by my childhood experience. The goal is to find a compromise, a reconciliation, an accommodation, in which those in authority are happy with me, and I am happy and satisfied that those in authority are allowing me to enjoy what I consider my just civil rights and liberties. THAT compromise has not yet been found, and thus, there is a state of war, conflict, tension and danger perceived by me of my immediate situation and prospects. “There is nothing more satisfying than making one’s peace with the establishment, and nothing more corrupting”.

1125) Published: Status Update: I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy! January 22, 2010

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Typed and written 23:01, Tuesday, 26th January 2010 CE
1125) I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy!

But Shoghi Effendi and Mr Furutan said that such convictions are not accurate. Why? Because, no matter how unworthy we may feel we are, all our inadequacies are more than compensated for by His grace and blessings, and his mercy exceeds His wrath. That is the amazing grace sung about by John Newton in his eponymous hymn. And if we concentrate our attention on the moments when He was felt to be close to us, not when we felt far from Him, and make a habit of remembering such moments of closeness, then we can begin to know His love for us. For me, these moments include, “Peter, look up at the stars!”, “If there is a God, tell me what you want me to do”, finding the ESB outside my hotel room window, being distraught at Bobby Kennedy’s murder, seeing Earthrise from Apollo 8 in colour on the front of the Times, experiencing “2001:A Space Odyssey” at the cinema, recognising the constellation Leo the Lion for the first time from the roof of Longford Hall, seeing the Full Moon above the mountains from Glen Ogle, seeing the picture-postcard views of the comet Hale-Bopp? above 14 Flatford Place, and the clouds skudding over the yellow-windowed quad of Exeter College, Turl Street in the light of another Full Moon, to name but a few. If He allows me to receive such inspiring inspiration, why would I think that He’s not walking with me in my journey through this maze of life in this dark age?

1122) Published: Poem: Lara January 21, 2010

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Typed and written 16:37, Sunday, 24th January 2010 CE
1122) Lara
What is it about Lara’s memory
that haunts my heart
and captivates my mind
even over a year since I last
saw her in front of me
and heard her voice?
What is it, that I saw in her eyes
a glint, a sparkle, a spirit
that indicated a passion, a perception, an understanding
of what it is to be a human being,
but a depth of feeling in those eyes
that was never expressed in words
as if secret thoughts too exalted
to be given to people who cannot grasp
what she contained in her heart;
but the clues were there
for me to see with my own eyes
for me to hear with my heart
woven into her words in the tone of her voice
but never expressed in the words themselves;
the way she walked, purposeful
and with a calm, serene determination
as if the whole world
was unaware of her purpose
and unable to have any effect
on her resolve, or confidence
as long as she kept it ignorant
of the pearls of wisdom
and gems of vision and beauty
that fueled her mission;
she gazed at the world
with a curious fascination
ever learning
and ever hiding her conclusions from those around her
only expressing what they could hear
which was by no means
all that she knew;
the mask of her social acceptability
delighting her audience with a light-hearted humour
and which most people saw
and never guessing what lay behind;
and now, with that hidden beauty gone from life
all I have are the memories of her
gradually degrading with time
fading, becoming exagerrated and inaccurate
and creating an ever-more fictitious myth
and the reality elsewhere
for others to discover;
and life here
seems empty and meaningless
with only a distant God
to keep me company.

1121) Published: Status Update: What’s the Point? January 21, 2010

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Typed and written 13:26, Sunday, 24th January 2010 CE
1121) What’s the Point?

When a close “friend” of many years, exhibits a certain habitual behaviour towards me, ultimately I have to ask myself the question, “What’s the point in talking to him, anymore?” And the answer is, “There is no point; don’t do it”. And the behaviour is, has been for years, and will probably continue to be, that under cover of alleged sincere genuine friendship, every conversation, every exchange of words, has a sub-text of a blow to the solar-plexus, auto-suggestions, innuendoes, hints and suggestions, a condescending, supercilious tone of voice, all trying manipulate my sub-conscious into strengthening its self image of utter inferiority, weakness, vulnerability, and a total lack of self-esteem. Who needs enemies…?

1120) Published: Status Update: The Engramatic Record January 21, 2010

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Typed and written 13:10, Sunday, 24th January 2010 CE
1120) The Engramatic Record

In a recent Virgin episode of “Star Trek: Voyager”, the Vulcan, Tuvok, referred to “the engramatic record”, a passing reference to terminology reminiscent of Layfayette Ron Hubbard’s insights in psychology described in his Scientology book called “Dianetics”. As I, shorn of any possibility of sufficient financial capital, short of winning the lottery, needed for the expense of laying bare my own worst-offending engrams with Scientology auditing, or the less expensive and possibly less effective method of hypnotherapy, and even the even cheaper and less effective method of individual psychotherapy, and being denied any such help by the NHS, I can only use my own reason, memory, and self-analysis, to try to discover more about the hidden engrams in my sub-conscious that have been sabotaging my life. However, even this freely available method, however slow and inefficient, is gradually enabling me to become more integrated, and more present in the real “now”. Which is nice!

1119) Published: Status Update: Charlie Brooker’s Newswipe January 21, 2010

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Typed and written 22:32, Thursday, 21st January 2010 CE
1119) Charlie Brooker’s Newswipe

This BBC4 programme has me in stitches; a marvelous appraisal of the melodramatic fear-mongering of the mainstream news media, in its infantile attempt to instill fear into the people of Britain through its dramatic manipulation, and selective editing of “the news”. He showed with hilarious acerbic, vitriolic, sarcastic, satirical wit that the British people were not buying it, and knew as well as Charlie Brooker himself, that their fear-mongering tosh is just that, a load of tosh. For the REAL news, see the usual suspects:- Alex Jones, John Pilger, Michel Chossudovsky, Naom Chomsky, Micheal Moore and David Icke etc.

1118) Published: Poem: All things bright and beautiful January 20, 2010

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Typed and written 12:16, Wednesday, 20th January 2010 CE
1118) All things bright and beautiful
Listening to the melodies of His celestial creatures
harmonies and sentiments of strong devotion and divine passion
the voice of one creature struck my heart
and looking at the notes in the case of the CD
I noticed that this particular strident, mellifluous voice
was from a Staffordshire Bull Terrier
as strong as a ox, holding its ground
as unmoved as a mountain in His Path
its plaintiff cries resounding throughout the heavens;
“What hath God wrought?”

1117) Published: Status Update: Spring Training January 19, 2010

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Typed and written 17:15, Tuesday, 19th January 2010 CE
1117) Spring Training

“Training” this spring will include a Baha’i on-line course called “Discourse on Social Action”, a Baha’i course on the spiritual aspects of our human responsibilities towards the environment and Christian courses, based or publicised at Oxford’s spirit-filled Anglican church at St Aldates, on Christian spirituality in the context of global justice, and a Christian understanding of how to answer issues raised by skeptics about the goodness of God in the context of human suffering. No doubt, other opportunities may arise, which I’ll consider taking up based on factors such as finance, time, energy and whether I feel interested, or not.

1116) Published: Non-Me Source: The Poor January 16, 2010

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Typed and written 23:43, Saturday, 16th January 2010 CE
1116) The Poor

“25. O SON OF SPIRIT! Vaunt not thyself over the poor, for I lead him on his way and behold thee in thy evil plight and confound thee for evermore.” (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)