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1710907/20140826a) Lone Wolf. August 26, 2014

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05:38 BST (British Summer Time),
Fidal, 7th Asma’, 171 BE
Grace, Words of Names
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Ath-Thalaathaa’, 1st Dhu al-Qidah, 1435 AH
Third  Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Tuesday, 26th August 2014 AD

 

 

 

Its clear to me now that planet Earth is splitting into two. One Earth, full of “happy” people, as shown in FB photos on my News Feed will carry on into the future, and another Earth, full of the people who are “left behind” will carry on into the future as well, the two populations separated from each other as were Will and Lyra at the end of “His Dark Materials”, never to meet again. The happy Earth maybe will be full of people holding yellow daffodils, they are the sheep. The sad Earth will be full of the people holding black sub-machine guns, they are the goats. And the few lone wolves, like me, will go to an Earth which is largely deserted as in the New Zealand sci-fi movie “The Quiet Earth” which will be like this housing estate, where the vast majority of residents seem to be permanently on holiday in the south of France. Maybe they are just in another phase, and invisible, with only the occasional knock on the door or window, which often wakes me up to find that there’s no one there. I wonder if this is how mankind started, with lone wolves Adam and Eve, and a few other people in the Land of Nod, a brand new beginning, from scratch, the people who are neither sheep nor goats, the few people carrying neither a yellow daffodil nor a black sub-machine gun. Maybe the number “33” is about the primary colours in colour subtraction and addition. Red, green and blue. And yellow, magenta and cyan. So she is magenta. And I am either green or cyan. Which is it going to be, cyan to be with her, or green to be alone. I hope cyan, but God makes the final decision, soon. Maybe most people are attached to one pole or the other, and I am “bipolar” and alternate between the two. I suppose I will know soon enough which I am, when skipping between the two becomes impossible, unless there is a world for bipolar people like The Quiet Earth, (1985).

05:46. I feel as if the Baha’is despise me because of my character, and don’t want me in their private lives, because I am unhappy without her, and the non-Baha’is despise me because of my religious beliefs. so I belong to no one and no where. Boo-hoo!

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1710906/20140825a) Strange Omens. August 25, 2014

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11:48 BST (British Summer Time),
Kamal, 6th Asma’, 171 BE
Perfection, Mercy of Names
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Ithnayn, 29th Shawwal, 1435 AH
Second  Day of the week, of The Raised Month
Monday, 25th August 2014 AD

 

 

 

I found two rubber/plastic rings on the pebbles in front of my bay window yesterday morning, the kind of rings that are made by looms into friendship bracelets these days by many children, such as in Manchester, supplying Wellington, where I purloined one whose colour was and is quite close to Magenta. And the two rings on my pebbles have the colours, Magenta, and Blue and Green, that is 1) Magenta and 2) Blue and Green. And in the world of colour subtraction and addition, we learn that Magenta is a combination of Red and Blue. So, a perfect blending of Red and Blue is twinned with a two-tone combination of Blue and Green, where there is an alternating of colour. Blue is common to them both, blue for ties and serviettes, but the alternate colour for one is Red, or Crimson for the Crimson Ark/Arc, and the alternate colour for the other is Green, which is symbolic of many things. But the fascination for “interpreting clues” is waning, and I’m getting tired of “over interpreting”. Let’s just say that Captain Magenta is Patrick Donohue from Dublin, and Captain Blue is Adam Svenson from America and Lt Green is Cloudbase Communications Officer from the Caribbean. Also if Blue is good, howabout Jake Sully from “Avatar” who realised he’d “got it backwards” and became a blue-skinned Na’vi, and if Green is bad, maybe the Incredible Hulk on a bad day. And Magenta is perhaps just Pink for “Pinkskin”, a white Caucasian who is without doubt the most beautiful human being I’ve ever met, though in saying that, I admit that my judgement is perhaps  distorted by an insane heart which is so biased in favour of her, that its as if I’m speaking with the voice of Spock, but that my heart like McCoy is emotional to the point of being just very human. “a man must abound in sanity to merit the madness of love”. So where did those 2 little rubber rings, each a centimetre across come from? A well-wisher perhaps. I feel “Mysteronised” and being supported by “strange powers that we, mere humans, cannot hope to understand”!

Looking at the rings again, the Blue in the “Blue and Green” could be more accurately described as Cyan (Blue and Green combined) and Pale Lime Green. Which puts a different complexion on things. Lime Green could be “English”, as in using lime fruits on British warships to use viatmin C to fit off scurvy, so that the English get called “limeys”. and Cyan, a perfect blending of Captain Blue and Lt Green, an American super-hero acting as sidekick to the Crimson King, and having an excellent ability to communicate from Cloudbase to everywhere and anywhere, from Cloudbase, whose location is unknown to all but a few, and high above “the Earth”, in the clouds, often “cloud 9”! And this “Captain Cyan” is occasionally “English” instead of Afro-Carribean and American. Maybe this shows that I am English by birth and upbringing, but by education (SuperMarionation, NASA and Bobby Kennedy) I am American with a deeply intense empathy and sympathy for the ideals of Martin Luther King Junior. Ref:- Gregory Peck as Aticus Finch in “To Kill a Mockingbird”.

17:47. And then when clutching at straws seems to bear no fruit, all hopes fall to ashes, complete entropy is encountered, and there is nothing but emptiness and the idea of a loving God is very far away indeed.

19:42. Since human beings, whether intentionally or not, cause me only pain, I am being driven into total social isolation, an isolation which is nearly complete and absolute.

21:51. It became too painful to remain silent, so I rang No2 on No6’s grid of 9, and he pulled me out of my black pit again. Its good that there are so many Baha’is that I can talk to, in order to accomplish this. Of course, it would be good if I stopped falling into black pits in the first place, but that how my mind works, falling into black pits. Maybe my higher self does it on purpose, in order to create a problem, so that I react, and then execute the solution. But it is my higher unconscious self that does this not me. I’m just along for the ride, and HOPING that my higher self knows what she’s doing.

1710904/20140823a) Woman. August 23, 2014

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12:10 BST (British Summer Time),
Jalal, 4th Asma’, 171 BE
Glory, Grandeur of Names
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
As-Sabt, 28th Shawwal, 1435 AH
Seventh Day of the week, of The Raised Month
Saturday, 23rd August 2014 AD

 

 

 

1) Woman.

And 6 + 6 = 10. Ref:- advertising poster in Banbury railway station circa 2009.

I know that this can be a hare-raising experience, a bit daunting, but its all for the best in the end. As in Sylvia Rose sat on a pin and Sylvia rose! (Ref:- My mum).

Photo: Please Share!!

Or as Kate Bush sings, “when one and one make one”. Or when 3 become one, as in:-

Picture number 5, Captain Magenta showing off a new gold-plated or amber ring.

Picture number 2, Captains Magenta and Blue consummate their union after taking a “communion pill” as in “Barbarella” between David Hemmings and Jane Fonda.

Picture number 11, Captain Crimson, the Power-Rangers’ Marriage Officer, officiating at their wedding.

3 in 1, Blue and Magenta, united under the shadow of Crimson, the King of Kings.

Daisy incognito, but joyously happy, I hope.

1710819/20140819a) Fourth and Vine. August 11, 2014

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23:28 BST (British Summer Time),
Fidal, 19th Kamal, 171 BE
Grace, Loftiness of Perfection
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Ath-Thalaathaa’, 23rd Shawwal, 1435 AH
Third Day of the week, of The Raised Month
Tuesday, 19th August 2014 AD

 

 

Its been a week since I last wrote. The emotional emergency of losing my charger deepened with finding a chocolate bar wrapper under my bed, finding 20p outside a friend’s room, finding the hall festooned with bunting the colour of Tomliboo Ooo, instead of Tomliboo Eee, interpreting something said from the stage as vindicating western medicine. All this should NOT have destabilised me, but it did, and Mr Hyde came out to play again and caused a bit of havoc, until I noticed my train of thought since the previous week, and stopped it from getting any worse. And there were plenty to help pulling me out of my black pit again and again.  But the shnanigins has continued, fueled by Sinead O’Connor’s music, and my own imagination, and my own memories, and my own refusal to consider any alternatives, whether my dreams suggest No 4, interpreting colours seemed to suggest No 5, I resisted it all to stay focused on No 6, no matter how unworthy I feel, how lacking in resources for her I am, or how irrational it is to consider that I have any chance of becoming good enough for her. No matter how unworthy, I am locked into needing her, because I love her, and that’s that. I noticed her roots were darker the other day, leading me to think that she is getting me to think about how she will age with time, and asking me to think whether it makes any difference to how I feel about her, and of course it does not, since I fell in love with her soul, not her physical frame, albeit she is very attractive, and always will be. And just typing about her makes me yearn, long, pine, desire even more, like feeding a wolf. I’ve not read the Writings much since I last fell in the black pit. Its not satisfactory, not ideal, but then “a man must abound in sanity to merit the madness of love” and my heart is clearly completely insanely in love with her, rational or not, and the appearance of the situation suggests not. My heart is convinced she loves me back, but my mind demands evidence, and there is no empirical evidence, and since in April or May 2008, she texted me to leave her alone, I am bound to honour her wish, and just a “Is this acceptable?” met with a negative response indicating no progress, apparently. I must wait, even though it might well be as absurd as “Waiting for Godot”, or waiting for No 4 for 26 wasted years. Never mind. If I hadn’t waited for No 4, I might have never been free to love No 6, when her time came up. And I do not really have a choice, since to NOT love No 6, I would lose all reason to be, and all ability to live sanely, so I must continue to believe that one day we will be together, because without that fantastic hope, I cannot function. I wept and cried when I heard “Fourth and Vine”.

1710811/20140811a) Happy Birthday, Sis, (56). August 11, 2014

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11:19 BST (British Summer Time),
Kamal, 11th Kamal, 171 BE
Perfection, Will of Perfection
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Ithnayn, 15th Shawwal, 1435 AH
Second Day of the week, of The Raised Month
Monday, 11th August 2014 AD
 

 

1) Woman.

Unless one’s companion is incommunicado for unknown reasons, such as the lover, Majnun, alone, but craving Layli, and waiting on the Lord for deliverance from his separation from her.

2) Independence and Change.

“The US government has grown strangely quiet on the accusation that it was Russia or her allies that brought down the Malaysian airliner with a Buk anti-aircraft missile.” Ron Paul

Or watching “Thunderbirds”, or watching a documentary about Apollo, or watching a speech by JFK or Bobby, or reading a Baha’i book.

Photo: “Without courage we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency”—poet & author Maya Angelou. #MantraMonday (Photo via Time Magazine)

Or as written by Mr Hofman, “Lose money and you lose nothing; lose honour and you lose much, but if you lose courage, you lose everything.”

3) Me.

11:23. About to start today’s second session after Mr Dunbar’s second talk on the challenge of prayer, the first of four, that in the words of Shoghi Effendi, if met, will ensure success in teaching. And now, the second session of the day, facilitated by Ian Holland and Christine Boyett on something to do with creativity in serving the Faith. And the third session of the day this afternoon with Farahnaz Mahoney. Similar to the last two days of material in Kilkenny, here in Crowthorne, we are covering four fifths of the material from the 114 Youth Conferences, namely, 1) The Period of Youth, 2) Fostering Mutual Support and Assistance, 3) Youth and Community Building, 4) Contributing to the Advancement of Civilisation. First, the same ice-breaker as last year, a “shield” with 4 sectors. 1) North West, name and community. 2) South West something unusual, an ambition to become a Professor of Symbology, an expert in the TPV, writing a blockbuster novel combining sci-fi technology and the first WFG, and the dream of Paxman’s description on Newsnight of the result of Russian populism taking Europe by storm. 3) South East, 3 hopes for the outcome of this Summer School, to get more information on my destiny , and to keep attentive to pick up on any clues, such as “Mister B”, “Missed a bee”, which could be that I yearned for the bee’s company, OR that I had missed an opportunity to “acquire” a bee. As when interpreting the dream in Haifa in 2007, a dawn of pale blue and pale pink sky, with the words in black hanging in the air, “Pigs Might Fly”, and Margaret Appa in the PRC (Pilgrim Reception Centre) advised me to interpret the dream in whatever way would make me happy. And anyway, the next day I did indeed fly from Tel Aviv to Larnaca to London Heathrow, after a 3-day visit to the BWC (Baha’i World Centre) in 2007, immediately after the Baha’i Arts and Music Festival in Limasol, Cyprus.

18:44. During the last session my amygdala kicked in with an “emotional emergency”. One factor was that I have mislaid my mobile charger, so the time left, before I return to the City of Ox, in which I can access this blog using my mobile for a code is limited. Also, I found that poor phone reception had prevented me from accessing my messages and therefore codes, and I found I could no longer access the WordPress site, and I feared I had lost my blog forever, let alone get access to it. So, after that session I repaired to my room in solitude, wept for oblivion, despaired of ever being with 6 again, felt despair, slept, awoke, found the codes on my now good reception mobile, up here in my room on the first floor at Picton, re-accessed WordPress, got a new code that works, and Bingo, my blog is up and running again, and solitude and sleep gave my brain a space in which the triggered amygdala calmed down again. S’good!

19:46. Now, while there is still energy in my mobile to receive codes to open this blog, I’m off at top speed to The Theatre to have fun seeing Sarah do some more acting.

4) Sci-Fi.

1710810/20140810a) From Kilkenny to Crowthorne. August 10, 2014

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21:59 BST (British Summer Time),
Jamal, 10th Kamal, 171 BE
Beauty, Might of Perfection
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Axxxxxxxxxxx, 14th Shawwal, 1435 AH
Fxxxxxxxx Day of the week, of The Raised Month
Sunday, 10th August 2014 AD
 

22:13. Arrived at Crowthorne’s Wellington College safe and sound, and just in time to quickly register and then enjoy a devotional followed by some announcements followed by a riveting talk by Mr Hooper Dunbar, former member of the Universal House of Justice, to which I wrote copious notes, before coming back to my allotted room, and found a link to the Net, which my laptop did not reject as dangerous as with the one at The Dolphin Hotel last night. And so, this humble, though sometimes opinionated narrative, types this for you, dear reader of blog-posts.