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1711104/20140930a) Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. September 30, 2014

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16:13 BST (British Summer Time),
Fidal, 4th Mashiyyat, 171 BE
Grace,  Grandeur of Will
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Ath-Thalaathaa’, 6th Dhu al-Hijjah, 1435 AH
Third Day of the week, of The Month of Pilgrimage
Tuesday, 30th September 2014 AD


17:50. Stats:-

United States 2, Spain 2, Italy 1, France 1, Viet Nam 1, Total 7.

16:17. 12:53 to 14:45. 100 lengths. Time per length, 1.12 minutes = 1 minute 20 seconds.

16:19. Started re-reading Susan Jeffers’ book, “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” last night and it is already bearing fruit.


1711103/20140929a) Public and Private. Exposure and Privacy. September 29, 2014

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14:36 BST (British Summer Time),
Kamal, 3rd Mashiyyat, 171 BE
Perfection,  Beauty of Will
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Ithnayn, 5th Dhu al-Hijjah, 1435 AH
Second Day of the week, of The Month of Pilgrimage
Monday, 29th September 2014 AD


22:10. Stats:-

Today:- Canada 3, Ireland 3, United States 2, United Kingdom 1, Taiwan 1, Total 10.

22:10. I asked a friend earlier about the issue of privacy, and the answer came back to the effect that any publicity I “enjoy” is due to my participation on Facebook and my blog, here. I wonder if there are any other sources of information about me that contribute to my “public footprint”.


1711102/20140928a) Free Thinker. September 29, 2014

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20:11 BST (British Summer Time),
Jamal, 2nd Mashiyyat, 171 BE
Beauty,  Glory of Will
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Yaum Al-Ahad, 4th Dhu al-Hijjah, 1435 AH
First Day of the week, of The Month of Pilgrimage
Sunday, 28th September 2014 AD


20:19. Stats:-

Malaysia 2, Italy 1, Chile 1, Ireland 1, Total 5.

20:18. A friend asked the other day how I became a free-thinker? Here’s an answer:- Imagine a boy living in an environment which seems very like “The Trial” by Franz Kafka, directed by Orson Welles, starring “Psycho” star, Anthony Perkins, in which arbitrary tyranny seems how everyone in the real world who has any influence treats the weak and vulnerable. And as a result that boy has absented himself from that world, leaving only a pretense, an “act”, of servile submission, in order to keep those tyrannical bastards off his back. And then add into his life experience, TV programmes from 1961 to 1967 that seem to say, “It doesn’t have to be like this; here is a vision of a world, where there is world peace, and under the authority of a just and fair-minded World Federal Government, there are agencies run by altruistic self-sacrificing heroes charged with maintaining and protecting that global justice, the World Space Patrol, and the World Aquanaut Security Patrol, all summarised in the magic phrase, “Calling International Rescue””. Imagine this code of morality, being expressed and embodied in “The National Aeronautical and Space Administration” successfully putting 12 men on the Moon in Lunar Excursion Modules, and 15 more in orbit around the Moon in their Command Modules IN REAL LIFE between 1968 and 1972. Imagine a Senator of New York, Robert Francis Kennedy painting a word picture of “New Jerusalem” in the future United States in 1968, and prompting a search for the REAL New Jerusalem, the REAL Return of Jesus Christ, also saying, the world doesn’t need to be like Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria are now. It doesn’t HAVE to be like this, and then imagine finding the beginnings of these visions having already started 130 years before on 22nd May 1844 in Shiraz, Persia, and the rest, from www.bahai.org is HISTORY, of the recent past and of THE FUTURE?

1711101/20140927a) Skint. September 27, 2014

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12:50 BST (British Summer Time),
Jalal, 1st Mashiyyat, 171 BE
Glory,  Splendour of Will
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
As-Sabt, 3rd Dhu al-Hijjah, 1435 AH
Seventh Day of the week, of The Month of Pilgrimage
Saturday, 27th September 2014 AD


12:54. Stats:-

United States 3, Fiji 1, Italy 1, Viet Nam 1, Total 6.

12:52. No cash until Thursday. No bank account credit until Thursday. Living without credit for a few days; maybe incurring some more debt. Not the end of the world.

23:22. Kindness of relatives has saved the day, not for the first time, and enabled me to avoid potentially crippling bank charges, all due to accidentally locking myself up in my porch without any keys. What a silly Billy I am.

1711019/20140926a) Looking down your nose at Thunderbirds. September 26, 2014

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18:30 BST (British Summer Time),
Istiqlal, 19th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Independence,  Loftiness of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Jumu’ah, 2nd Dhu al-Hijjah, 1435 AH
Sixth Day of the week, of The Month of Pilgrimage
Friday, 26th September 2014 AD


18:39. Stats:-

Today:- United States 1, France 1, Portugal 1.

23:30. In the light of the 2nd March message it seems to me that to highlight the western elite’s lies as broadcast by the mainstream news media, is a form of protest, and therefore not necessarily helpful, despite the righteous indignation such lies provoke. So, I will assume from now on that these lies are common knowledge, and no one needs reminding of them, and that the following sentence from Ridvan 2011 will suffice. “A word of caution: no matter how captivating the spectacle of the people’s fervour for change, it must be remembered that there are interests which manipulate the course of events.”

23:31. Richard Dawkins interviewed on RT by Oksana Boyko in “Worlds Apart” very interesting. Professor Dawkins is not all bad, methinks. He would be happy with a religion as defined by Einstein. I wonder if he would be happy with a religion that agrees with science, as defined by Baha’u’llah?

23:31. Treated myself yesterday to some Tarragon and added it to my dinner tonight for the first time in several years, Pilchards in tomato sauce, sweet corn, okra, red lentils, pesto sauce, lime pickle and chilli sauce. Yummy.

23:35. Black flags symbolising the Mahdi being waved around? They’re out of date. The REAL Black Standard of Khurasan was carried by the followers of the Bab/Qa’im/Mahdi in 1848 from the Persian Province of Khurasan to the site of the glorious martyrdom of those heroic 313 dawn-breakers at Shaykh Tabarsi. The Bab lived from 1819-1850 when He was executed and martyred in a firing squad in Tabriz. Its all history, and now the Kingdom is here, spread throughout the globe, just waiting for individual seekers of the truth to find.

18:33. Got triggered earlier.

I would advise anyone intending to ring me, to wait 12 twelve hours before doing so. I’ve turned big and green and am liable to lash out verbally at anyone who even just looks at me. You have been warned. Normal service will resume just as soon as Dr Jekkyl gets back.

Just sent a text to my NHS Care Coordinator. “Jac, My sister just “had a go” at me and I can’t process the negative effects without help. I can’t think of anyone else who would be able to hear me. I’m surprised at my vulnerability to criticism and condescension. Pete.” I had to spend £95 to drill and replace the lock on my back door, when I locked myself into my porch without any keys. When I told my sister the price, she verbally rolled her eyes at me and told me not to spend so much money on Thunderbirds stuff. I told her that if I hadn’t had to spend £95 for a new lock I would not have gone into the red. Her tone of voice and attitude to “Thunderbirds” didn’t hot home for about 30 minutes, but by then I had slammed my kitchen door, in anger. Letting go of the anger is of course the answer, after having let it get to the surface instead of suppressing it. Its this attitude of my “family” to my own reality which either fills me with despair and depression, or touches off an anger and contempt that no one would want to be around me. Steve knows this all too well. I’m surprised that one mild criticism of me spending too much money on Thunderbirds has had such a powerful emotional effect on me, put me back in that “total war” frame of mind.

Having a condescending and patronising attitude to my enthusiasm for the vision of Gerry Anderson when talking to me is NOT recommended.

Looks to me as if the true two-year-old nature of my emotions is getting to the surface after 56 years of being suppressed and hidden by a false facade of “acting my age” which was forced on me by peer pressure and the dictatorial demands of the “normal”.

A friend said a few years back that no one had taught me how to defend myself. I’m beginning to learn that now, and although my defense, or counter-attack may seem a blunt instrument with no sophistication, it is to an extent effective.

Looks like Dr Jekkyl is back in residence, whilst enjoying episode No 20, “Move and You’re Dead”. “Thunderbirds”. I like Tin Tin’s ear-rings, twin huge daisies! And her words at the end of the episode as Virgil has just finished a cubist portrait of her Alan, “Who needs a picture when you can have the real thing”. Never seen Alan look so happy, except perhaps in the last story, the movie, “Thunderbird 6” in which Alan and Tin Tin go on a trip round the world in Thunderbird 6, Alan’s yellow with red trim, Tiger Moth biplane. Maybe it was their honeymoon, but the film gives no clue as to whether that’s true or not. Wonderful!


1711018/20140925a) Documentary Important: Water Have Memory. September 25, 2014

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11:44 BST (British Summer Time),
Istijlal, 18th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Justice,  Dominion of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Khamis, 1st Dhu al-Hijjah, 1435 AH
Fifth Day of the week, of The Month of Pilgrimage
Thursday, 25th September 2014 AD


12:09. Today’s stats:-

United States 2, Canada 1, Indonesia 1, Italy 1, Portugal 1, Total 6.

13:16. Watching two tiny moths just now wandering around with great freneticism, just reminded me of a funny English idiom, “all of a flutter!”

20:33. Treated myself to some Tarragon and added it to my dinner tonight for the first time in several years, Pilchards in tomato sauce, sweet corn, okra, red lentils, pesto sauce, lime pickle and chilli sauce. Yummy.

19:17. The October Revolution?


I dreamt the other day that I’d paid up for tickets to go to the Netherlands, but those plans I abandoned for something missing of the same bliss far closer to home, at the drop of a hat. Ref: “The Quiet Man” starring John Wayne. “Is this a dagger I see before me?” Don’t worry, Pete, its good for you. Betty Reed once quoted Queen Elizabeth I saying that Ireland was a dagger pointed at the heart of England. Ireland as in Blog Post 21. And Paddy O’Mara once said that the Irish had more prejudice against the English than the English had towards the Irish. My heart-felt admiration for the Irish and their culture, their qualities and talents is undiminished, and my love for her in her absence gets stronger every day. No 6 in 2006. 66, the Year the English won the cup. The Holy Grail, perhaps. The treasure at the end of the treasure hunt. The secret knowledge at the end of the Quest. The ravishing love on the other side of the garden wall looking for a ring she had lost. In about 1975, when I was a new Baha’i being deepened by Dr Heshmat Ta’eed in Shrewsbury, he said that in the future, if Baha’is do not go to China, there was a danger that it, China, would become militaristic and a danger to the whole world. Perhaps we need to move there, but it seems perhaps from the above dream that I won’t have to make such a monumental effort to move heaven and earth to move to China, that most nether land, before I can find myself basking in your presence first. There’s an Isobel Sabri Pilgrim and Alice Dudley’s Note about pioneering but taking your wife with you, which Shoghi Effendi found amusing! Here is the paragraph in question:- “There is a great distinction between pioneering and dispersal. In the past I appealed to the American Baha’is to pioneer – to arise and sacrifice for the sake of the Faith and to meet the needs of the Faith. But when I saw that they did not respond to my appeals and saw in what danger they were, as a loving father I advised them to save themselves. I urged them to disperse to the farthest corners of the earth – and to take with them all those things which they love more than the Faith: their money, their cars, they refrigerators – their wives! (His eyes lit up with amusement and triumph as he added “wives!”) But this is dispersal, and it is very different from pioneering which is done with sacrifice and for the love of the Faith.”

11:50. 100.9. Weighing myself later this morning: Maybe its drinking 2 pints of structuralised water early in the morning, and then often not eating anything until well into the morning not long before lunchtime, wot’s doing it! For “structuralised” see Ref:- You Tube film from Russia, “Documentary Important: Water Have Memory”.

12:29. Well, to allow it to recover from being “mashed up” and further UNstructuralised doing 90 degree turns in the plumbing, I fill 3 sequential empty orange squash bottles with tap water and put them next to my “work station” and re-fill them as soon as they become empty, ensuring that they are still and able to re-structuralise to some extent over the following twelve hours or so. Then when its time to drink, as at the first waking up in the morning, pour out a pint and then a second into my glass beer glass marked “Carlsberg, England, 3 Lions, Official Beer” and hold the beer glass of water between my two hands for 30 seconds or so, thinking spiritual thoughts at the water, further structuralising it, as in the style of western Christian praying, so that the Kirlian Reiki electrical fields from my hands and fingers further induce and influence the water molecules to clump together into geodesic Buckminster Fuller bucky balls, which gives the water a much greater power as a solvent. Also, when holding the full glass of water between my hands, I hold it in front of my heart, since I was told a few years ago that about 10 years before it had been discovered that the heart is very rich in nerves, and closely connected to the brain, and could be seen as “part of the brain” and maybe exerts a powerful electrical field as well. And that one strategy for defusing stress was to link the brain and heart by putting one’s right hand under the left breast, with the thumb on the breast bone pointing upwards, creating a stronger unity and reinforcement of the link between brain and heart. The same or similar position at when the Americans recite the Pledge of Allegiance. I noticed during “episodes” a few years ago that when in that manic hyper-state of mind, water seemed extra effective as a solvent and could much more easily clean, cleanse and purify things. See maybe 50% of all Baha’i prayers for healing involve the image of cleansing waters:-

1) The Word of God.

12:33. USA Prayers 2002 edition. Healing Prayer No 1, page 95

O God, my God! I beg of Thee by the ocean of Thy healing, and by the splendors of the Daystar of Thy grace, and by Thy Name through which Thou didst subdue Thy servants, and by the pervasive power of Thy most exalted Word and the potency of Thy most august Pen, and by Thy mercy that hath preceded the creation of all who are in heaven and on earth, to purge me with the waters of Thy bounty from every affliction and disorder, and from all weakness and feebleness.

Thou seest, O my Lord, Thy suppliant waiting at the door of Thy bounty, and him who hath set his hopes on Thee clinging to the cord of Thy generosity. Deny him not, I beseech Thee, the things he seeketh from the ocean of Thy grace and the Daystar of Thy loving-kindness.

Powerful art Thou to do what pleaseth Thee. There is none other God save Thee, the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Generous.

– Bahá’u’lláh.

US Prayers 2002 edition. Healing Prayer No 4, page 97.

Praised be Thou, O Lord my God! I implore Thee, by Thy Most Great Name through which Thou didst stir up Thy servants and build up Thy cities, and by Thy most excellent titles, and Thy most august attributes, to assist Thy people to turn in the direction of Thy manifold bounties, and set their faces towards the Tabernacle  88  of Thy wisdom. Heal Thou the sicknesses that have assailed the souls on every side, and have deterred them from directing their gaze towards the Paradise that lieth in the shelter of Thy shadowing Name, which Thou didst ordain to be the King of all names unto all who are in heaven and all who are on earth. Potent art Thou to do as pleaseth Thee. In Thy hands is the empire of all names. There is none other God but Thee, the Mighty, the Wise.

I am but a poor creature, O my Lord; I have clung to the hem of Thy riches. I am sore sick; I have held fast the cord of Thy healing. Deliver me from the ills that have encircled me, and wash me thoroughly with the waters of Thy graciousness and mercy, and attire me with the raiment of wholesomeness, through Thy forgiveness and bounty. Fix, then, mine eyes upon Thee, and rid me of all attachment to aught else except Thyself. Aid me to do what Thou desirest, and to fulfill what Thou pleasest.

Thou art truly the Lord of this life and of the next. Thou art, in truth, the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.

– Bahá’u’lláh.

US Prayers 2002 edition. Healing Prayers No 5 (For Women), page 99.

Glory be to Thee, O Lord my God! I beg of Thee by Thy Name through which He Who is Thy Beauty hath been stablished upon the throne of Thy Cause, and by Thy Name through which Thou changest all things, and gatherest together all things, and callest to account all things, and rewardest all things, and preservest all things, and sustainest all things – I beg of Thee to guard this handmaiden who hath fled for refuge to Thee, and hath sought the shelter of Him in Whom Thou Thyself art manifest, and hath put her whole trust and confidence in Thee.

She is sick, O my God, and hath entered beneath the shadow of the Tree of Thy healing; afflicted, and hath fled to the City of Thy protection; diseased, and hath sought the Fountainhead of Thy favors; sorely vexed, and hath hasted to attain the Wellspring of Thy tranquillity; burdened with sin, and hath set her face toward the court of Thy forgiveness.

Attire her, by Thy sovereignty and Thy loving-kindness, O my God and my Beloved, with the raiment of Thy balm and Thy healing, and make her quaff of the cup of Thy mercy and Thy favors. Protect her, moreover, from every affliction and  90  ailment, from all pain and sickness, and from whatsoever may be abhorrent unto Thee.

Thou, in truth, art immensely exalted above all else except Thyself. Thou art, verily, the Healer, the All-Sufficing, the Preserver, the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.

– Bahá’u’lláh.

US Prayers 2002 edition. Healing Prayers No 6, page 100.

and “Prayers and Meditations” by Baha’u’llah, Section CXLVII (147), page 235.

“Thou art He, O my God, through Whose names the sick are healed and the ailing are restored, and the thirsty are given drink, and the sore-vexed are tranquillized, and the wayward are guided, and the abased are exalted, and the poor are enriched, and the ignorant are enlightened, and the gloomy are illumined, and the sorrowful are cheered, and the chilled are warmed, and the downtrodden are raised up. Through Thy name, O my God, all created things were stirred up, and the heavens were spread, and the earth was established, and the clouds were raised and made to rain upon the earth. This, verily, is a token of Thy grace unto all Thy creatures.

I implore Thee, therefore, by Thy name through which Thou didst manifest Thy Godhead, and didst exalt Thy Cause above all creation, and by each of Thy most excellent titles and most august attributes, and by all the virtues wherewith Thy transcendent and most exalted Being is extolled, to send down this night from the clouds of Thy mercy the rains of Thy healing upon this suckling, whom Thou hast related unto Thine all-glorious Self in the kingdom of Thy  237  creation. Clothe him, then, O my God, by Thy grace, with the robe of well-being and health, and guard him, O my Beloved, from every affliction and disorder, and from whatever is obnoxious unto Thee. Thy might, verily, is equal to all things. Thou, in truth, art the Most Powerful, the Self-Subsisting. Send down, moreover, upon him, O my God, the good of this world and of the next, and the good of the former and latter generations. Thy might and Thy wisdom are, verily, equal unto this.”

11:52. A paragraph taken from “The Bahá’í Faith – The World Religion. A Summary of Its Aims, Teachings and History.”

“The Bahá’í Faith recognizes the unity of God and of His Prophets, upholds the principle of an unfettered search after truth, condemns all forms of superstition and prejudice, teaches that the fundamental purpose of religion is to promote concord and harmony, that it must go hand-in-hand with science, and that it constitutes the sole and ultimate basis of a peaceful, an ordered and progressive society. It inculcates the principle of equal opportunity, rights and privileges for both sexes, advocates compulsory education, abolishes extremes of poverty and wealth, exalts work performed in the spirit of service to the rank of worship, recommends the adoption of an auxiliary international language, and provides the necessary agencies for the establishment and safeguarding of a permanent and universal peace.”

(Shoghi Effendi, Summary Statement -The World Religion).

11:54. A New Race of Men.

“Dearly beloved friends! Great as is my love and admiration for you, convinced as I am of the paramount share which you can, and will, undoubtedly have in both the continental and international spheres of future Bahá’í activity and service, I feel it nevertheless incumbent upon me to utter, at this juncture, a word of warning. The glowing tributes, so repeatedly and deservedly paid to the capacity, the spirit, the conduct, and the high rank, of the American believers, both individually and as an organic community, must, under no circumstances, be confounded with the characteristics and nature of the people from which God has raised them up. A sharp distinction between that community and that people must be made, and resolutely and fearlessly upheld, if we wish to give due recognition to the transmuting power of the Faith of Bahá’u’lláh, in its impact on the lives and standards of those who have chosen to enlist under His banner. Otherwise, the supreme and distinguishing function of His Revelation, which is none other than the calling into being of a new race of men, will remain wholly unrecognized and completely obscured.”

(Shoghi Effendi, The Advent of Divine Justice, p. 16, dated 25th December 1938 to the Baha’i Communities of the United States and Canada).

11:58. Re-read the 2nd March 2013 message last night, and although I don’t feel I understand the whys and wherefores, its obvious that I have to make some adjustments.

Well, it reminds me of an ex-NSA member saying a few years ago that our attitude to our respective NSAs should be one of obedience, exact, immediate and complete. Just like that story of new Baha’is in the far east, on becoming informed in Book 1 that backbiting was to be abandoned, said, “we thought it was normal and everyone did it, and we didn’t know it was bad, so now we DO know, we will stop doing it, immediately, and completely”, and to quote the late UK comedian Tommy Cooper, “Just like that!”

“Forces of Our Time” by Hooper Dunbar, pages 95 to 96. “The spiritual principle that negative thoughts and feelings block the possibility of transformation applies to society as a whole, as well as to interpersonal relations. This principle allows us to understand why protest movements are a less effective strategy for social change than attempting to provide a model for social evolution, which is the Baha’i approach. Protesting against racism or environmental degradation or economic injustice usually focuses attention on the present and its imperfections instead of on the future and its potentialities. It does not create a positive dynamic for social change. Often protest movements, however well-intentioned, fall into negative patterns that create bitterness, estrangement and sometimes even violence, among the elements of society where change is needed.”

Next paragraph. “Baha’is are occasionally accused of naive idealism or utopian impracticality because of our unwillingness to engage in partisan politics and protest.s. One way to respond to these accusations is to explain that we believe that the most usual response to social problems is to demonstrate that other ways of doing things are possible and workable. The Baha’i approach to social problems is not naive: we are actively trying to understand the forces of darkness and to implement new models capable of truly safeguarding the fundamental, spiritual and long-term needs of humanity. It is neither escapist nor impractical: our standard is to fight and eliminate these forces within ourselves – a highly challenging and lifelong task – and to create new and vital social forms that transcend the negative tendencies of our inherited cultures. In so doing we provide society with a peerless and essential map.”

Next paragraph. “The response to the dark force of racism is an example of the power of the Baha’i approach. It is possible to feel anger about social and racial injustice – even to take action such as participating in a protest march – without discovering one’s own racial or ethnic prejudices or changing the segregated patterns of one’s own life. The Baha’i strategies for fighting the forces of darkness require more from the individual . Every believer of every race has to look within his or her own heart and mind to find the subconscious and unquestioned racist attitudes that we have inevitably absorbed to some degree. Relying on the power of faith, we have to root out those attitudes and establish patterns of friendship, work relationships and social activities that go against the society’s norms of racial bias and segregation. Baha’i communities that have made noteworthy progress on this path have sometimes been seen to generate tremendous interest and enthusiasm in the society around them. Shoghi Effendi, writing through his secretary to a Baha’i community in the southern United States in 1947, described the nature of the battle against the forces of darkness:”

Quotation from Shoghi Effendi through his secretary, 1947: “The friends must, at all times, bear in mind that they are, in a way, like soldiers under attack. The world is at present in an exceedingly dark condition spiritually; hatred and prejudice, of every sort, are literally tearing it to pieces. We, on the other hand, are the custodians of the opposite forces, the forces of love, of unity, of peace and integration, and we must constantly be on our guard, whether as individuals or as an Assembly or Community, lest through us these destructive, negative forces enter into our midst. In other words we must beware lest the darkness of society become reflected in our acts and attitudes, perhaps all unconsciously. Love for each other, the deep sense that we are a new organism, the dawn-breakers of a New World Order, must constantly animate our Baha’i lives, and we must pray to be protected from the contamination of a society which is so diseased with prejudice.”

Last paragraph, promise! “When Shoghi Effendi told the Baha’is that we must not permit dark forces to take hold of us by thinking and feeling negatively towards each other, he set a standard for our interaction with each other and with the world.”

2) Woman.

11:57. iphone 6 mania in Moscow.

12:04. At 102.0 I’m still a bit flawed, but I talk about myself too much. How are you?




1711017/20140924a) Mental Tests, Severe in the West. September 24, 2014

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07:03 BST (British Summer Time),
‘Idal, 17th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Justice,  Sovereignty of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Arba’aa’, 30th Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
Fourth Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Wednesday, 24th September 2014 AD


07:08. Stats:-

Yesterday:- France 8, United States 6, United Kingdom 1, Mauritius 1, Chile 1, Colombia 1, Total 18.

Today:- USA 5, Italy 2, Bulgaria 2, Mexico 1, Switzerland 1, Germany 1, Unknown 1, Total 13.

Weight, first thing this morning:- 101.2.

13:32. Bits of rubbish left deliberately on my doorstep for me to interpret, is perhaps a mental test, deliberately planted to wind me up, intimidate me, undermine my confidence. For about 3 days running, a bit of rubbish has been conspicuous in its obvious planting. The first was, if memory serves, a wrapper for prawn mayonnaise sandwiches, the second I don’t remember, but this morning’s was quite clear, to those in the know. A label for a package with a serial  number in large lettering, 5060. We know from the Writings that we must expect this sort of thing, that it would be extremely severe, and that it would purify our hearts to serve Him more effectively. So, the obvious interpretation that No 5 and No 6 are off the menu, is to me disinformation that I can disregard as propaganda designed to undermine my confidence. “Don’t let the bastards grind you down” my father often advised. When the Baha’is are at liberty to speak freely, then the whole process will be laid bare, until then, they are sending me to Coventry, metaphorically speaking. Perhaps they feel obliged to fit in with the plans Ed Harris in his French berret has for me, though I will never comply with their wishes as far as choosing a partner is concerned. Anyone who shows an interest will now be regarded by me as merely a paid actress, professionally fulfilling a role for WIN, like Lori in “Total Recall”, and THAT is a game I refuse to play. Either No 5 remains a friend, and/or No 6 becomes a mate for life. Nothing else will be acceptable, no matter what packaging labels are deposited in front of my front door. Is that clear?

14:15. In “The Promise of World Peace” (1985), the Universal House of Justice talks about “paralysis of will”. They explain that mankind wants above all else, world peace, but has no hope that it can be achieved, producing this paralysis of will. Likewise, in my own life, my first priority and overwhelming preoccupation is to find that loving, intimate relationship with a beautiful embodiment of the “sacred feminine”, which will heal me of the traumas of my early years. But, I have no hope that it will ever materialise, because I limit it to No 6, and this produces in me a “paralysis of will”.

16:33. Normality is abnormal. In the waiting room at Gosford Hill Medical Centre, before an appointment to get my ears syringed of wax, Radio 2 was audible in the background. The sound made reading “A History of Japan” impossible. I asked myself why. I occurred to me that the sound of the radio was not only intellectually toxic, making reading a book impossible; it was also morally and spiritually toxic, making the humans subject to its evil influence – see the music video by Kate Bush for “Experiment No IV” – making them like zombies in “Shaun of the Dead” or part of the hive as in “Invasion of the Bodysnatchers” or a cross between the two, leaching all the humanity out of them, in its task of rendering everyone compliant to its hidden agenda of what constitutes “normal life”. A culture which is functioning, but by all human measures, completely dead.

16:43. Compared with the freneticism of the four days inclusive from Friday 19th September to Monday 22nd September, I am now almost completely drained of energy, emotion, will, life, as if there are still tendencies in my experience of life, of short bursts of intensity followed by fallow, plateau periods of not quite catatonic sloth and indolence. Reminiscent of the DSM’s propensity to medicalise mood swings with the fatuous label, “manic depression” or “bipolar affective disorder”. A bit like an IPG (Intensive Period of Growth) encompassing the 3 stages of planning, expansion and consolidation.

01:13. I’m getting younger, said the host of the first Castle DM/G of the new academic year, this evening. What, like Benjamin Button?, I quipped. I was toying with this concept on the way home. I noticed the other day that I had arranged some photos on one of my bookshelves in a curious way. Next to a picture of No 4 (1978-2004) I had placed a photo of myself aged about 13 (1968). Next to 4 pictures of No 2 (1973-1976) I had placed a photo of myself aged about 30 (1985), and so, if I put up a picture of No 6 (2006-date) I suppose I might place a photo of me next to it of me aged about 7 in 1962, looking happy and cheeky. As if, although my intellect is growing old and growing slowly more knowledgeable, more understanding, more wise with time, like a starship traveling at warp in conventional space/time, there is a twin starship traveling on the same course, in the same direction of space, but with a different relationship with time, like Benjamin Button, going backwards. But why? Because, perhaps, as I mused about this earlier this evening, my “emotional software” has been severely compromised by multiple viruses, trojans, worms and other bad apples or bad memes. When my laptop has been severely compromised and damaged by such bugs from without, I have found that one strategy for dealing with it has been to “restore” my laptop to a point in time BEFORE the bug hit, taking the laptop to a moment in time before the virus did its damage. IF my psyche has been “bugged” by faulty software in the form of indifferent or downright bad parenting, planting in my mind, my sub-conscious, my amygdala, unfortunate traumatic experiences, such as “get back to bed this minute” which could easily, in my eyes, be construed as emotional abuse, necessitating such extreme measures, such coping mechanisms as “absenting myself” from the “real world” to find an alternate reality in the world of Gerry Anderson (1961-1967), with its corollaries, NASA (1967-1972), Bobby Kennedy (1968), “If there is a God, tell me what you want me to do” (1970-1974) and the Baha’i Faith (1974-date), then it could be averred or opined that from 1961, or maybe earlier such as 1958, when my sister unwittingly broke my monopoly of attention from Mum, or from “get back to bed this minute” which may have been earlier than that, or from being woken and taken from my cot to be gawped at by strangers, in which case I “absented myself” into an imaginary pyramid in my mind (“Total Recall”?) or from being scared to death by a mad female infinitely energetic and strong boxer dog, or before that, being born prematurely and kept away from Mum in a transparent plastic incubator box for a few weeks before being allowed home, I have been labouring as a human being with extremely compromised software in my psyche, making normal functioning impossible. IF SO, then “restoring” my emotional situation to an ever earlier traumatic experience, and then re-writing the software from each point, is a possible strategy for dealing with the problem, hence, like Benjamin Button, emotionally I find myself at earlier and earlier restore points in my emotional history enabling thereby my emotional conditioning to be de-bugged, re-written, corrected, and made adequate for the task of dealing with my social reality as it is now in 2014/171. And the two starships, traveling at warp, in a common “warp field” are doing a rather tricky maneuvre in transferring my consciousness between the two ships, one intellectually in 2014 and one emotionally, at earlier and earlier restore points in time, repeatedly, until in time as well as in space, the two ships can occupy the same time as well as the same space. It seems a complex concept to describe, but I think I may have successfully given the gist of it.

1711016/20140923a) Au revoir/Auf wiedersehen. September 23, 2014

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13:13 BST (British Summer Time),
Fidal, 16th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Grace,  Honour of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Ath-Thalaathaa’, 29th Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
Third Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Tuesday, 23rd September 2014 AD



13:16. Stats:- United States 6, Chile, Colombia 1, Mauritius 1, United Kingdom 1.

14:36. 101.9. Quite remarkable how, when you’re physically ill – I’ve had “the snuffles” for a few days and taken much extra vitamin C – the fat just seems to drip off. I usually take 6000 mgs daily as per the research of Dr Abram Hoffer and Dr Linus Pauling since the 1950s, and my own experience since being told about orthomolecular medicine for the first time in 2007 by a good Baha’i friend from north Wales, at the National Baha’i Convention in Llandudno, and more than 6000 mgs daily, when I get cold or flu symptoms. Last Sunday, in total, in doses of 3000 mgs, I took a total of 21000 mgs throughout the day. It worked, as it always does, when very little in terms of symptoms today.

13:17. Steady at she goes Mr Sulu! Aye aye, Captain.


1711015/20140922a) “Home Work”. September 22, 2014

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13:04 BST (British Summer Time),
Kamal, 15th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Perfection, Questions of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Al-Ithnayn, 28th Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
Second Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Monday, 22nd September 2014 AD


13:43. Stats, USA 3, UK 1, Canada 1, DRC 1. Starting on the evening of Friday, 19th September, and continuing through the weekend and up to now, I have been doing “homework”, cleaning, clearing, sorting, dusting, filing, arranging, ornamenting my flat, and it is perceptively a more welcoming environment for me to be hospitable in, although there’s still a hell of a way yet to go, before its ready.



1711014/20140921a) Transdimensional Cockroach Bug? September 21, 2014

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11:26 BST (British Summer Time),
Jamal, 14th ‘Izzat, 171 BE
Beauty,  Speech of Might
Year number 19, Vahid, (Unity)
Vahid number 9, Baha, (Splendour)
Kull-i-Shay (Fullness of Time), number 1, Alif, (A),
Yaum Al-Ahad, 27th Dhu al-Qi’dah, 1435 AH
First Day of the week, of The Month of Truce
Sunday, 21st September 2014 AD


11:28. I just spotted what looked like a dead fly on the floor in my bedroom. I picked it up to dispose of it, and it started wriggling. I was filled by that insectaphobia that instills me with panic, and tried to crush it in the handkerchief that I picked it up with, and looking at it, had a different configuration than a fly, a bit more like a may bug, but nevertheless unknown, and it seemed to be uncrushable. I let it fall to the floor and I tried crushing it under my slipper, and I could not feel it being crushed. Then it seemed to have disappeared, no longer on the floor and not squished on the sole of my slipper. Conclusion:- Maybe it was a transdimensional bug from pernicious allies of the Zindi, like the cockroach bug crushed successfully by the black US President in “The Fifth Element”, and when caused to cease functioning, by my slipper, could no longer maintain its existence in this dimension, and reverted to the hole in the ground in a different dimension, where its broken remains belong? Just speculating! That’s ONE way of “getting rid of the evidence”, I suppose! Make it disappear into another dimension.

11:35. Stats? USA 1. Final score yesterday? USA 6, Egypt 1, Netherlands 1.

11:53. This morning’s weight? 102.9. “Most satisfactory, ehem, most satisfactory!” Dr Beaker in “Supercar” (1961).

19:16. USA 3 India 1.

02:17. USA 4, UK 1, India 1.