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1400) Published: Status Update: w/c 14/5/11 May 15, 2011

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Jalal, 17th Jamal, 168 BE
The Glory and Sovereignty of Beauty
Saturday, 14th May, 2011 AD
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1400)  w/c 14/5/11
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c.22:00, 15th May
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The DM in St Clements, which was based on some quotations from The Writings on health and healing was a wonderful evening of Baha’i fellowship, further rescuing me from the abyss of disaffection brought on via the sorrow and disapointment of the last 2 months, as all the usual aspects of living a Baha’i life as coming back on line. Moving on from the attachment that brought so much sorrow, I feel a renewed sense of being content to live my life for myself, not being dependent on anyone else. The daily Baha’i exercises of reading the Writings morn and evening, the obligatory prayers and reciting Allah’u’Abha are now starting to reestablish themselves in my daily routine, and now, opportunities to enjoy the social life of Baha’i meetings are starting to reestablish my life outside my flat again. Yesterday involved a discussion in Woodstock on the 28th December message from the Universal House of Justice, and today involved a prize-giving in Barnet where about 30 children from a dozen of schools were awarded prizes for their various pieces of work on the concept of world-citizenship. The usual routine of the last few years is steadily reasserting itself, minus that attachment, and life is good.
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16:49, 16th May
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I awoke at 12:50, but still tired, went back to sleep and awoke at 16:35. I had dreamed that I had travelled in time back to 1979 and met myself in some social setting such as might have happened a few years before in St Marks Road in Henley. After I woke up, I felt as if my perspective, for the first time was no longer about what I might acheive in my life, but what I might have achieved in my life. At 55 years old, my life has mostly already happened.
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06:51, 18th May
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Started reading, in earnest, “The Cosmic Ordering Service” by Barbel Mohr. It seems that these factors are already working for me in a minor way, to arrange the traffic at the Cutteslowe Ring Road roundabout, enabling me more often than not, to cross the roundabout without stopping and safely too. The 19 Day Feast in St Clements last night was very pleasant, as well as a late night discussion in Headington with an old Baha’i friend before cycling home. I deliberately missed my medication last night, so as to be up bright and early to be in Bicester at 10:30 for an interview with my consultant. Otherwise getting up in time would have been well nigh impossible. It entailed getting only two hours sleep however so I can’t do this every day.
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1399) Published: Status Update: w/c 7/5/11 May 10, 2011

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‘Idal, 14th Jamal 168 BE,
The Justice and Speech of Beauty,
Wednesday, 11th May 2011 AD
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1399) Status Update for w/c 7th May 2011
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00:10, 11th May
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It doesn’t feel comfortable typing here at the moment. Its over 2 months since I last wrote, and there have been changes. Here, late at night, with RLS making my feet excruciatingly restless, getting to sleep is the last on my agenda. (RLS = Restless Legs Syndrome). The RLS, which I feel mostly in my feet, is due, as a side-effect to the psycho-active drugs presribed for me. A more technical label for this restless is akathisia. Its preventing me for concentrating on this, so I think I’ll leave this for tomorrow, when this evening’s Quetiapine/Seroquel has worn off.
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12:27, 11th May
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Set the alarm for 06:30, but I didn’t hear it. The phone rang at 10:20. Before I checked the time, I assumed it was my care coordinator, due to see me at 14:00, but it was a call centre, claiming to be making a routine call about my computer. I asked them if they were Dell. No. Have Dell asked them to make this call? They hung up. Cyber crime? Anyway, I was awake, with 40 minutes to get up and get to Costa Coffee to meet Jan from MIND. A good chat to summarise progress to date, and then home to cook lunch before a session at the Kaleidoscope Centre at 13:00.
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17:14, 11th May
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A tolerable day, with some progress. After feeling sorrowful after 7th March, an extra month in hospital as a result, and from that sorrowful event, feeling disinclined to eaither pray or read the Baha’i Writings, just 24 hours of reading and praying again, has changed my mind-set and demeanour markedly. The session at MIND was about “well-being” and looking after one’s mind. Then, after an elated report back to my care coordinator, grocery shopping in Kidlington Sainsbury’s, watching a documentary on iplayer about peace-seeking from 1918 to 1945, and sampling some of the culinary delights of my rucksack, namely humous followed by clementines.
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17:19, 12th May
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Boredom is the enemy of hypo-mania, and after the tendency towards that over the last few days, due to having nothing specific to do yesterday evening and during today, plus the medication of the daily 350 mgs of Quetiapine/Seroquel, and getting plenty of sleep, has left me people quite down to earth, even though I read from BRC (Baha’i Readings from Canada) and recited the SOP (Short Obligatory Prayer). Last night’s sleep WAS delayed by infuriating RLS (Restless Legs Syndome) or akathisia, but eventually died off anf allowed me to sleep. All this punctuated by eating and watching the news on RT.
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18:13
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Just had to summon forth my assertiveness skills, to ask details concerning freehold/leasehold, building and contents insurance, and mortgage companies and solicitors, of a potential seller, with my family estate as the potential buyer. I arrived home again, slightly stressed out, but nothing being entertained by the TV couldn’t handle, and cause me to feel calm again, as I prepare food for dinner.
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23:19
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Question Time again, and I like Vince Cable and David Blunkett. No surprises there, then. Durng the evening, with the TV in the background, including a documentary about human biology from cradle to grave, sorted out some organisation related issues such as arranging transport to the Spring School in Burnham in Berkshire later this May. No emotional issues today on account of the Quetiapine last night. Life is comfortably mundane.
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14:00, 13th May
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Due to Quetiapine, as usual, couldn’t wake up before lunchtime, so too late for salat el jumu’ah with MECO; a lazy slow getting up during the afternoon for a DM in St Clements. DM = Devotional Meeting.
 

1398) Published: Status Update: Emotionally Flat? March 5, 2011

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Jalal, 4th ‘Ala’, 167 BE
The Glory and Grandeur of Loftiness
Saturday, 4th March, 2011 AD
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1398) Emotionally Flat
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The first day of the week, was a case of PBMAS, (Post-Baha’i Meeting Anti-Climax Syndrome), wherein the love, joy and happiness engendered last night with the Baha’i youth at a communal breaking of The Fast, did not continue today. The reasons were clear enough and fairly mundane; lack of sleep, lack of reading The Writings, lack of discipline to restore the balance of faith, so today was a let-down, despite a 5 hour study from early at 08:00 in studying the 28/12 message from the House.

1397) Published: Status Update: Normality Restored February 26, 2011

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Jalal, 1st Ayyam-i-Ha, 167 BE
The Glory and Splendour of the Days of Sprit
Saturday, 26th February, 2011 AD
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1397) Normality Restored
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After a mammoth twelve hours sleep, I got up to cycle home from the psyche ward, and spent a relaxed afternoon, after buying new brake blocks and a new bell, and then groceries, just catching up with the washing up, cooking dinner, with John Barry playing in the background. The world hasn’t changed from before the 5th January, apart from the pro-democracy movement taking north Africa by storm, and the perceptions of strange events and phenomena that I experienced last June and this January are back under the carpet, held at bay by a rational mind strengthened by the drug from the pharmaceutical industry called Quetiapine and marketed as Seroquel. Now life can resume with a degree of normality that I thought I would never welcome, but now do so. There is an Ayyam-i-Ha music concert starting tonight at 20:30, though in my heart, nothing will touch me unless she is there, and my rational mind tells me that she will not (be there). And so my unrequited passion for her weighs me down, or if not down, then sideways, to a world, on the same level as all my peers, but removed to a reality which they do not understand, know of or recognise. Such is life.
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The Ayyam-i-Ha concert was great. Whilst sad that she was not there, the connections made with other Baha’is were lovely, as were a few interactions with some of the non-Baha’is there. I feel a new vitality as a Baha’i, which reinforces my love for her.
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‘Idal, 1st Ala, 167 BE
The Justice and Splendour of Loftiness
Wednesday, 2nd March, 2011 AD
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Since the concert on Saturday, I feel that things are changing, though very subtly. With reference to discipline, though my ability to do homework, such as for the Chinese Mandarin Beginners course is still very poor, my ordinary daily time managment skills seem to be improving, with a stable sleep pattern established thanks in great measure to the Quetiapine, and following on from that a daily spiritual exercising, of reciting (and chanting or singing) 95 times, “Allah’u’Abha”, and the Obligatory prayers, plus reading from The Writings morn and eve, which is having a powerful effect on me. Not least of this spiritually edifying change is a greater degree of detachnment, resignation and radiant acquiesence, concerning romance. I would imagine that, if known about, this is a beginning of taking pressure off her. Conversations with friends, with a mutual friend standing nearby, possibly overhearing, plus her own “man in Mexico”, quizzing me on my status, makes me suspect, ever the paranoid, that she is “listening in” vicariously through the reoprts of others. But despite this deluded wilfulness, the ball is firmly in her court, and no action will be taken my me, unless she makes a next move, first.
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On the mundane level, I learned more of redemption through the Gospel on Sunday at St Aldate’s and Monday at st Ebbe’s, wrote “poems” about global redemption and having a more hardnosed and detached view of romance, accessed a marvellous service form Netgear having spent £60 on a warranty in December for 6 months which covers not only the Modem Router, but also the Dell laptop itself AND all the software. As a result 32 infections were expunged, superfluous security software from Norton and McAfee were uninstalled, AVG security was updated, Java was updated as well, and a general start at house-keeping was effected. Hopefully this Dell 6400 laptop will, after being purchased in 2007, continue to do its stuff until its earliest sell-by date in 2012, 5 years later. Now today, I’ve resumed ITQ at EMBS, and enjoyed a very effective revision of the Powerpoint I covered before Christmas. I’ve recently ordered, via Amazon UK, “V for Vendetta”, “Best of Bowie”, “Diamiond Dogs”, “Left Behind”, and have plenty more on my wish list.
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Istiqlal, 3rd ‘Ala’, 167 BE
The Independence and of Loftiness
Friday, 4th March, 2011 AD
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This week has been a week that was, quite remarkable. At the ward round yesterday, I was virtually discharged, though having fasted all day on the first day of the Fast, I quite remarkably unsurprised or unexcited by this, and took in my stride, as if it was no big deal. Such is the detachment that the Baha’i Fast engenders in any soul. The discharge is not official yet, though it seems to me likely that it will be declared next Tuesday at the next ward round, having enjoyed 5 nights in my flat. Today, I’d arranged for an electrician to fix the half dozen or so electrical faults, and he has, as we speak, gone to Cowley to pick up the spare parts. Two bigger jobs that I could have had done are the cooker and extractor fan, but I perhaps felt that heating and lighting is paramount, whereas the cooker is fine with one electric hob and no oven, at least for my needs now, and the extractor fan in the bathroom can wait anoither day too. Maybe I could mention these two jobs to him before he leaves, with a view to a second job.
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I feel strangely detached from my romantic attachments, not that my intention has changes, but that I feel immeasurably more relaxed and radiantly acquiescent about the outcome. At the ward round, I brought up the question of pioneering east, and they were very clear that needing 300 mgs of Q/S would not be a problem with that. They were concerned however that my motivation should not be her, and I tried to reassure them that my ultimate motivation is not her, but to serve the Divine Plan, as it was in Februray 2007, before a mutual friend, seemed to put a spanner in the works, by suggesting to me, “Is there something you haven’t told me?” Actually there wasn’t, but it seemed to be others’ perceptions that my motivation was to be with her, not to serve the House. Other perceptions can be out, just like mine.
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Computer-wise, my ordinary user Pete Rose continues to have problems, so I have started using the Admin user as the primary part of the laptop to work with, entailing transfering a lot of material from the former to the latter. The freshness and speed of the new Admin user is way ahead of my previous user, which is nice. I’ve been working with Bowie, the Best of, in the background, which will become Diamond Dogs, Matt Monro, You from St Aldate’s, Nelly and finally Black Sabbath, being the most recent CD purchases.
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Electrical work having been finished in time, I intend to attend Muslim MECO salat al’jumu’ah (Friday prayers) in Summertown, and then breaking the Baha’i Fast with the Baha’is around sunset in Oxford. I have 35 minutes to pack and cycle 15 minutes to Summertown. Looks like I need to rip “Aliens” to my Admin library, to speed up. Couldn’t find the Aliens CD, so had to do with instead, the studio album of Pink Floyd’s “Ummagumma”; not 3 bad! But I’d found my “shades” with only 6 minutes to go; not enough, so I’ll stay in until 16:45, when it’ll be time to set off the breaking of the Fast. Change of time to kick-off, so I’ll be leaving at 17:15.
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Just arrived home from the breaking of the Fast, which included as well as a sumptuous feast of food, amidst Dawn Prayer No 7 from the US 2002 edition prayer book, which is ideal for the occasion, a game of charades, and a Fellowship of Baha’i love which seemed to me as I sped home with the wind on my Raleigh Pioneer 140 Easyride, a love which is out of this world; I feel so grateful to have such beautiful Baha’i friends.

1396) Status Update: A Change of Heart Concerning Medicine February 21, 2011

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Kamal, 15th Mulk, 167 BE
The Perfection and Questions of Dominion
Monday, 21st February, 2011 AD
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1396) Status Update, A Change of Heart Concerning Medicine
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About the previous posts:- Tush, tush, getting a bit hot under the collar, Pete? Been getting things out of proportion? Perhaps, probably. After being hospitalised for the 7th time diue to psychological factors, regular alanzapine, aripiprazol and now quetiapine (Seroquel), those symptoms of bad brain-functioning of emotional over-reaction, catastrophizsing the events of the world around me, the psychic perceptions of parallel univereses, time travel, of visual and auditory hallucinations, perceptions of the next world in this, hypersensitivity to factors in the environment, and a hypersensitivity to other people, are all put on the back burner, if not swept under the carpet, and normalcy resumed, which is nice.
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After being taking in for assessment on the evening of 5th January, nearly 2 months later, and, due to anti-psychotic medication, I’m feeling much more mediocre, mundane, banal, bland, and therefore fit in wioth society much better than before. Leave from the psyche ward has been increased so that I can go home every day from 10:00 to 18:00 and 21:30 on a Monday due to my Chinese class. Life is becoming sweet again, and stable, serene, placid, tranquil. Vitamins are still important, but no longer without backup from the psychotropic drugs from the pharmaceutical industry, which doesn’t seem quite so evil anymore. Am I missing the point, or getting it at last? Time will tell.
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Fidal, 16th Mulk, 167 BE
The Grace and Honour of Dominion
Tuesday, 22nd February, 2011 AD
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Today has been characterised by depression, rancour, hate and envy, a dull resentment of the pathetic nature of my life compared with the joys, privileges and successes that have been granted to so many of my friends who I perceive to look down on me with disdainful contempt, and a supercilious superiority. Followed by a grim, greitted teeth determination to follow my father’s interminable advice, “don’t let the bastards grind you down”. So I am being restored to Restore and ITQ, which will take up 4 days each week, heading for a better office job than the one I had of rnearlyt 30 years, extra income, and if I’m not too late, a chance to make by life work and function appropriately, before either western civilization or I collapse in old age and ruin.
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‘Idal, 17th Mulk, 167 BE
The Justice and Sovereignty of Dominion
Wednesday, 23rd February, 2011 AD
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I’ve been on another of those emotional roller-coaster days so far today, starting off despondent and tearful and ending up unreasonably and unconscionably optimistic and upbeat, as if she will or might at any moment jump out from behind a corner and give me a long, passionate kiss, and suddenly my life would be a manifestation of that Belinda Carlisle song, “Heaven is a place on Earth”. Practical jobs achieved today include getting in touch with HMRC and am now awaiting a new password and paper tax return to fill in including pages for self-employment.
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Istiqlal, 19th Mulk, 167 BE
The Independence and Loftiness of Dominion
Friday, 25th February 2011 AD
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As sure as little apples, the optimism of Wednesday has evaporated, as usual, due to passage of time. There is too little factual evidence upon which to decide to be optimistic or pessimistic, so the outlook changes with the vagaries of emotion, based on no rhyme or reason,  whatsoever. Today, a farewell gathering for the old cpontract at Restore, ready for a new contract with changes from the past, is followed, before a Baha’i discussion on “The the soul have a gender?” with being here at home on my own, with nothing for company but John Barry’;s wistful mourneful music, such as that for “Body Heat” starring William Hurt and Kathleen Turner, full of doubt, foreboding, anf an inability to regard even those closest to you as trustworthy, honest, sincere and thruithful. Such is life. Even she to whom my heart feels inseparably wedded, admitted herself that when with me she is dishonest. In that situation IO have noone to trust, and my distrust of Him, Baha’u’;llah, Who seems to have doled out in the 35 years I have “followed” Him, nothing but failure, heartache and misery, has never been deeper. Why should I believe the remaining 20 years of my life should be any less disheartening? Why should I believe things will get better? What is the evidence? Especially when the only thing that would affect my misery is if she were to walk back into my life, and there is no rational reason to believe that will ever happen. I want her and nothing else, and what I want is not going to happen, according to any rational analysis and logoical reasoning. I love her, and her alone, and she is gone forever, isn’t she?



1319) Published: Status Update: The Storm Before the Calm August 20, 2010

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Typed and posted, 11:39,
Istiqlal, 1st Asma’, 167 BE
The Independence and Splendour of Names
Friday, 20th August 2010 AD
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1319) The Storm Before the Calm

There’s a stormy, thunderous dark gray sky above Hereford, with a flash of lightning a second ago to support my argument, a veritable conflagration of Thor’s wrath or His warpath. But this afternoon, after lunch, I’ll be packing my trusty green rucksack, and donning my blue and yellow waterproof plastic suit with matching blue helmet, to bicycle to the Hereford Baha’i Feast on the other side of town, the Feast of Asma’ or Names. It will be a spiritual renewal, of peace and calm, after this morning’s storm, and I will be thankful for having attended, before leaving slightly early to get my train to Oxford, and to cycle to Kidlington. The train due to depart at 21:51, getting in to Oxfp0rd at 23:56, just over two hours, will see me happy, though tired, and happy to get home to my beloved flat. Maybe tonight I’ll sleep soundly, as if I’ve ingested the Little Boom of Calm as had Manny Bianco played by Bill Bailey in the first episode of “Black Books” starring himself and Dylan Moran as Bernard Black, Dylan also being its writer.

At 12:19, the storm has evaporated, and all is at cruising speed with commendable dispatch, and as I listen to a recently ripped Petrouchka by Stravinsky, I continue ripping to my laptop library on WMP (Windows Media Player), not only Stravinsky, but also Ravel, Wagner, Grieg, Smetana, Dvorak, Richard Strauss, Mendelssohn, Bizet, Tchaikovsky, Gregorian Chants, Gershwin and Elgar. A veritable cornucopia of a music fest of auditory delights, a blessed plethora of passionate melodies, a gamut of gamely intoxicating cadences! Leonard Sachs of the Music Hall would be proud of me! And while I let the high technology cool down and have a break, I’ll listen to my all-time favorite, Grieg’s Peer Gynt Suite, which one school holiday in the late 60s, I played over and over until my poor mother was soon at her wit’s end, at having to hear it yet again. My favorite track was and is track 3, “Anitra’s Dance”! Another favorite is track 9, “Arab Dance”. Another is Solweig’s Song, track 11.

A bit of TPV:- inwardly, AND outwardly, today, I’m blue and yellow, topped with green! Inwardly blue jeans, yellow Orion’s belt, olive green T-shirt, outwardly, navy blue plastic trousers, florescent yellow Clerk of Silly Walks coat with silver stripes topped with a blue and black cycle helmet and backed with a British racing green rucksack filled to the gunnels with the crown jewels AND the kitchen sink, as per usual. All supported by bright red woolly socks. Interpretation, according to the Kabbalistic Tree of Life, My steps in red are directed by the Crimson Ark, sailing on the Arc on the Mountain of God, My legs doing the leg-work of service to Him, service being a mercy both to the servant and the one served, on behalf of Him, The service is kept up by the strength derived from teaching the Faith, Book 6 is YELLOW! This teaching of the faith, my belt, keeps up the service to others, and also keeps me dry from the flood of materialism, as does service keeping my leg-work comfortable, dry and not wet, and comfortable under all conditions. Yellow is also the Glory of The Sun of Reality, shining out of the Crimson Ark. My heart is inwardly encased in olive green, green for the emotions of the Kingdom, and also my inordinate affection for No 6, olives, together with cheese being a favorite food of ‘Abdu’l-Baha, so Dr Heshmat Ta’eed once told me, and my head crowned with blue service of mercy to myself and others, all backed up by a rucksack filled to the gunnels with the emotions of the Kingdom and more of that inordinate affection for…

and for now that Peer Gynt has finished and been replaced by a Piano Concerto, I’m going to skip that, to listen to Peer Gynt Suite No 2.

WHERE  did Josh Groban’s “You Raised Me Up” track no 12 come from? I did NOT rip that to my laptop, so who did? Toyah Wilcox might well sing, “Its a Mystery!” But this song is all about how I feel about her, you, No 6! And Who sent No 6 to save me and turn my life around, and raise me up, if it wasn’t Baha’u’llah, my Lord. Now for Bolero, my Ravel. No, the computer has over-ruled me, its “Also sprach Zarathustra” by Richard Strauss which is bringing tears to my eyes. Bolero can wait until 2001 has had its say, for the umpteenth time. The Monolith WILL be obeyed! “Bolero” by Ravel is something else, so sensual!

For Saturday 21st August:- “You don’t hide the fact that you’re ambitious, though you may hide your particular ambitions from time to time. Now is a good time for openness, as you’re in a really good position to move.” This calls for a Status Update I think; what my short term plans are, and I DO have some. You know what my long terms plans are! But if you would like to re-iterate them, I will, here. A good position to move, what, within the constraints that are imposed on me? I’m not in a position to move geographically, though pioneering within my own consciousness might be on the cards, as in The Moody Blues, thinking is “The Nest Way to Travel”; you can go faster than light if you want to. Unless I’m in a good position to make a move? Well, I’ve been doing that incrementally here, for months, but the constraints to my behavior dictate that any other form of communication is verboten by the fuhrer! So, I’ll carry on escalating the odds and raising the stakes here, until something comes my way from the other end of the tennis court. As yet, nothing has, since April 2008, when my constraints were made clear and obvious as in “Leave me alone”. Has anything changed? I haven’t noticed anything, yet. Nothing empirical, anyway. And actions depend on empirical evidence, don’t they, WPC of the BTP!

Now for Gershwin’s “An American in Paris”, which always reminded me of the dog owned my my second best friend at school, Adams’ Grammar School, in time, not rank, Andrew Laing, whose family’s pet dog was some sort of terrier, daft as a brush, and white, but as sturdy and well-founded as a Staffie! And “Rhapsody in Blue” which reminds me of New York as no other piece of music does.

1317) Published: Status Update: Upbeat AND Realistic August 19, 2010

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Typed and posted, 14:44,
Istijlal, 19th Kamal, 167 BE
The Majesty and Loftiness of Perfection
Thursday, 19th August 2010 AD
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1317) Upbeat AND Realistic

In finding like-minded souls in various contexts as well as in the Baha’i Community, such as MECO, St Aldates, and in the media, and feeling less “out in the cold”, less “embattled” since politicians like Ron Paul and mainstream journalists like Keith Olberman ARE speaking up for the truth against the outrageous lies of the last several decades, I feel that life is not necessarily so bleak, not as crap as I had assumed. “The Trial” by Franz Kafka starring Antony Perkins and directed by Orson Welles is not such an accurate and realistic depiction of life after all. Real life is not necessarily a distopia. Okay, so No 6 has scarpered for ever. So what! Who needs a partner anyway? More trouble than they’re worth, if you ask me. And who needs children? With the world’s population needing culling, what’s the point? If I was rich, I could perhaps afford to have children and give them a start in life, but with my financial situation, it’s not an option, and anyway, as a father, I would be anxious continually about behaving as my father would have done, and I do NOT want to put any child through THAT, (behaving as my father did, that is). So, I might learn to be content, more consistently, more often, with what little I have, and enjoy it, without aspiring to trappings of material success which a conventional wisdom says I ought to aspire after, but which, if attained, would probably only destroy me. Maybe as a factor in conventional wisdom, peer pressure and blind imitation are extremely potent evils.

1309) Published: Status Update: Anger and Rage August 18, 2010

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Typed and posted 11:14,
‘Idal, 18th Kamal, 167 BE
The Justice and Dominion of Perfection
Wednesday, 18th August, 2010 AD
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1309) Anger and Rage

After the relative peace and quiet, and boredom of a short hiatus, the previous upbeat enthusiasm and positivity has changed like a binary switch to cynicism and negativity. Dr Jekkyl has changed to Mr Hyde and not, for the first time, and presumably not for the last time either. A pent-up rage against whoever it can be pinned on, for what I have been denied, and ultimately, therefore a deep lack of faith and trust in the spiritual powers that be, from God Almighty downwards. Faithlessness is not pleasant. Neither is disobedience against His Commandments such as to have no other gods but Him, to honour one’s parents, not to covet what one doesn’t possess, to love Him alone and above all that is, etc etc. I feel the same antipathy towards those human beings who have been agents, however unwittingly, of His Will. Its the same issue, the same stand-off, the same stalemate, that has dogged my life since the beginning. And the lack of a solution is equally stubborn.

1308) Published: Status Update: A Hiatus August 17, 2010

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Typed and posted 17:02,
Fidal, 17th Kamal, 167 BE
The Grace and Sovereignty of Perfection
Tuesday, 17th August 2010 AD
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1308) A Hiatus

Suddenly there seems to be little going on. A gap in the action. A sudden cease-fire of quick-fire situations needing sharp, quick, intuitive reaction. A London Tube announcer might say, “Don’t mind the gap!” Maybe its a calm before the storm, such as an escalation in armed conflict such as 9/11 that we cannot envisage, such as an all-out attack on Iran, or a terrorist event designed to legitimize such an attack. Whatever is about to happen, the Ultimate Controller of the Universe, will bend its course according to His Will and Purpose, though the likes of Professor Dawkins might throw up his hands in horror at the superstitious stupidity of such an obviously mentally ill perspective, riddled as it is with the diseased mental viruses of medieval theology. Whether or not there will be a storm after this calm remains to be seen. If nothing particularly dramatic happens in the wider world, in my own life, it SEEMS business as usual, with nothing momentous looking on the horizon except the usual lack of funds, and my own reluctance to engage in IPAs, though I suspect that is changing, albeit too slowly.

1305) Published: Status Update: Nothing to Do With It August 11, 2010

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Typed and posted 07:23,
‘Idal, 11th Kamal, 167BE
The Justice and the Will of Perfection
Wednesday, 11th August 2010 AD
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1305) Nothing to Do With It

A Sun in Leo, and a new Moon yesterday in the same sign Leo has nothing to do with a Venus in Leo or a Jupiter in Leo, but maybe these planets in the Jovian or jovial sign indicate a specific sense of joviality and humour. Her’s is ridiculous and slap-stick, mine dry, sardonic, deadpan and ironic. Does that fit Venus and Jupiter respectively? Maybe. But any irrelevancy and unscientific lack of intellectual rigour won’t stop me remembering someone’s adorable sense of humour. Since my Jupiter is in Leo, and the Sun and Moon are currently in Leo, I’m reminded by a series of associations, or memory pegs of Venus. Moon and Sun to Leo, Leo to Jupiter, and Leo to Venus, the ultimate destination after Mars? Can’t squeeze anymore out of this one, this post that is, so time to carry on getting up, and have a shower.